The Brown Dress

Occasionally, we are the beneficiaries of some charitable distant relatives who generously give Amber and Karli the unused clothing of their granddaughter who has more clothes than anyone on this planet. When they drop off a bag, there are usually several items from Gap, Gymboree, and Children's Place that still bear tags and are just the right size, so we are eternally grateful for these. Most recently we found this brown dress in the mix. It's a size 8 (Amber is not), a summer dress, and when worn forward (not backward, as obviously preferred), it shows a great amount of little-kid-cleavage (read: private parts). Notwithstanding, Amber loves this dress. She wears it every single day, and it's all I can do to keep her from stripping down to her skivvies and donning the cursed dress after I tediously vest her in a cute outfit that actually fits. Ultimately, I don't like the dress because I feel like Amber looks like a homeless kid, or even a trailer-park escapee when she wears it, but I have now decided to give up the fight since it happens several times each day. I should be glad that I only have one item of Amber's laundry to wash, albeit every night, and the fact that it hides stains so well makes it almost worth it. Hooray for obsessions!

Innuendo or Just a Little Techie Boredom?

Have any of you noticed recently that when, after writing a comment on your friends' blogs, you are required to enter text in a window, the text now spells words? It seems like I always get funny (okay, okay...I'm immature) words like "duchable" (it means "showerable" in Spanish and I think you know what it means in English), "zotho", "alkabia", "mastu", and several others that I can't remember now.

I think it's a conspiracy among Google employees; they sit in a dark-ish room at their computers, adjusting their glasses once in a while, and create stories with nonsense words. Then, they each take a word and put it up on our screens to see if we catch on, and laugh their heads off because they are really getting us good. Well, maybe with my imagination, I should be one of them! :) Happy typing, everyone.

A Whole 'Lotta Booty for Not Much Booty

I procured a Gymboree Visa two years ago (dangerous, I know) because I realized the immense saving potential linked to such a marvelous piece of plastic and I couldn't resist. When I opened my account, I saved like 75% on some darling Easter dresses for my girls. Then, I earned a $25 gift card for activating my card, with which I bough Rex an entire dinosaur ensemble for six dollars. I recently received a $10 gift card in the mail, so I went to Gymboree today and found this darling outfit for Amber. Grand total: $2. That's right, just two bucks for the headband, shirt, and pants. Not too shabby, eh? I do have to admit that I used a coupon for 30% off my entire purchase (the event lasts through tomorrow, so hurry up and go!), but now I feel totally validated in using my Gymboree Visa on a regular basis.

Amber fixed her own hair, if you can't tell.

Here's a sure sign that I'm a bad mom:

A few days ago, I tried on my smallest pair of jeans to see if I could fit into them after having Rex. Amber watched me struggle to lift the zipper and said, "Mom, what's wrong?" I replied, "My booty is just a little too big for these pants" trying to say that I was too fat for jeans of that nature without giving Amber a complex. She said, "So, when your booty is a little bit smaller they will fit you?" "Yep." I replied.

When Amber tried on her new pants that are obviously huge on her (I have the grandma-purchasing-syndrome where I buy things too big so the kids will grow into them), she said, "Hey, dad! My booty is a little bit too big, so when it's smaller then my pants will fit me!" Adam just said, "Nice job" to me and I felt awful despite my heaving laughter. So much for not creating a complex!

Little Sister Lily in Downtown Copenhagen

My little sister Allison, a.k.a Sister Liljenquist (or Sos. Lily for those of you who speak Danish), flew to Denmark on Monday to begin missionary service in downtwon Copenhagen. We saw her off at the airport and it was awesome to see her filled with the exuberant spirit of the Lord's service. She looked great (a bit granola compared to her old self, but still adorable) and was speaking Danish like crazy. I am proud of her!

Can you tell we're related? Allison is my cuter twin.

The kids were a bit sleepy since we had to leave our house at 6:00 a.m., but they liked seeing Allison all decked out in her missionary gear.

Here's Alli with her new companion at the mission office.

Metallica Rocks Salt Lake CIT-TAY!

Sometimes an event becomes so much more than just an event, like Christmas for example. Christmas day is wonderful, but the parties and food and sights and smells that lead up to the actual holiday are the things that make it magical. Such was the case last night at the Metallica concert. I've been to a few great shows (Aerosmith and Trace Adkins were my previous faves), but this spectacle was more phenomenal than anything I've ever seen in my life!

Here's the play by play: I coached last night until 6:30 and when I got home, Adam had all the kids' stuff ready to go, their shoes on, and took them to my parents' house for some quality time with Grandma Shelley and Marianne. I threw on a rockin' outfit (black miniskirt, anyone?) with some gigantic earrings and hopped in the car. We payed for good parking near the Energy Solutions Arena and made our way to the Will Call counter among headbangers who looked like they walked right out of a 1988 music video, teenage skater boys, classy middle-aged couples, and some of the trashiest gals I've ever seen (white tanktops only look good on a select few!).

We arrived in the middle of the opener's set, a band called Down, The Sword, who employs a few of Pantera's members. I've never heard music, I mean noise, that loud in my life! While I must admit it was very entertaining and momentarily hilarious to see a throng of people totally whipping their hair around to the beat of some mean bass guitar played from a serious power stance, I'm just not a fan of death metal. We had amazing seats, though, so it was fun to see how those musicians could perform. Although Down, The Sword had gritty riffs and some outstanding guitar-behind-the-back moves, they were foul enough to make Metallica seem like a group of choir boys, which, I guess, is ultimately a good thing.

Once the ruckus stopped, we talked to a few of our neighboring Metalheads and ate a yummy hot dog. Suddenly, the lights went down and a tumultuous cheer arose. Dramatic guitar music began and about a million cell phone screens illuminated the arena. There were only a few lighters present, from which I could gather one of two things: Generation Y is much more safety-concious, or we were in Salt Lake City where smokers are (thankfully) fewer and farther between than, say, in Lansing. Out ran James, Lars, Kirk, and Rob and every arm in the arena (except mine and Adam's, of course...we are way too boring) went up to the diagonal to proudly fist-thump to the pounding rhythm. It was certainly amazing to behold!

Metallica has to be the best group of showmen I've ever witnessed. The crowd was more loyal than BYU fans (he he, losers!), the pyrotechnics were so powerful that I think my eyelashes singed a bit, and the music was so loud that I could feel my ribs shaking in my chest with every chord. It was such a great combination of crazy, air-guitar-playing, maniacal fans, rockin' music, awesome visual effects, and delightful company (our first kid-free date in about three years, I think) that it became by far my favorite concert ever. I'm still deaf in one ear, but it's a small price to pay to the rock gods!

Here we are after the concert in our stupified metal coma. We shouted to each other the whole way home! I can't wait 'til we're 90...it'll be bad.

The stage setup was awesome; they played on the floor in the middle of the arena. We sat at center court on row 17, so we could feel the heat from the fire and see the sweat flying off the musicians' faces. Thankfully we were far enough away that none landed on us.

James Hetfield has the coolest rock n' roll voice, not to mention his sweet, '80's-throwback guitar.

It was awesome! Maybe someday you'll see me in black tapered jeans, a concert T-shirt cut into an off-the-shoulder, cropped number with a leopard bra underneath, and a wicked Metallica tatt on my left shoulder blade. Adam can grow a bald-on-top mullet like the guy sitting in front of me. Isn't that thought frightening?

Scary Fun for Everyone

We had a grand and marvelous Halloween this year with lots of family fun. Kristi hosted a fantastic party with tons of yummy food (Yoshida-braised meatballs...yum!) and adorable Halloween decor, then we all headed over to their ward's Trunk or Treat where all the kids scored way too much candy and some sweet glow-stick necklaces. Stephanie and I were the only adults who dressed up (both as witches); the Clarks have never been into dressing up, so we in-laws have to add a little spice to the party. Steph let me borrow this sweet wig to complement my witchy wardrobe and makeup:

Doesn't Rex make the perfect little Yoda? This is my all-time favorite Halloween costume! Check out my Hanna Montana tatts, courtesy of Karli and Amber.

Here's Karli as "Purple Tinkerbell", complete with her famous pirate smile. Hooray!

Amber didn't just want to be Ariel, she had to be "Sparkly Ariel".

I had so much fun making Karli and Amber's costumes (I think I had more fun this Halloween than they did), and it was great to be around cousins, siblings, in-laws, and grandparents this year. Amber told me this morning that she wants it to be Halloween again today. Yikes. :)

Here's another fun (some of you may find it scary) fact: Adam and I are going to the Metallica concert tonight! I can't wait to get all decked out in my rocker gear, wear some mega black eyeliner, and do my share of serious headbanging. If I can muster up my senses by then, I'll post a full report tomorrow. YYYYEEEEAAAHHHH (read that with a booming, James-Hettfield-esque roar)!