Adam...Karli...Any Similarities?

The other day, Amber found this photo of Adam in the tub when he was a toddler. I can't believe how much Karli looks like him. Karli even thought it was herself in the photo. What a bunch of cuties!

Walk, Schmalk

Just when I thought I couldn't be surprised by anything else that takes place in our apartment parking lot, I saw this. The sad thing about this incident is that it is not the only one of its kind; we have recently discovered a whole gang of Rascal-ridin' Georgetown dwellers who are perfectly capable of walking around (I see them strolling easily to and from their power chairs that they actually park in parking spaces), but elect to let the Great State of Michigan pay for everything they use, including transportation. In case CATA was thinking about adding a bus route from one end of our parking lot to the other, they can rest easy knowing Medicaid has already solved the problem! I can't believe my eyes. In fact, I find this slothful transport so stunning that I sneakily snapped this picture through the window while I was washing dishes so I could share it with all of you (I felt so scummy, like a tabloid paparazzo). On the other hand, though, maybe it is a great way to save gas money. I mean, really...pride and self-respect are so overrated!

Mia Michaels' Protege

I always make the girls watch "So You Think You Can Dance" with me in hopes of providing a little inspiration and it seems to be paying off in terms of drama and creativity. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present for your entertainment, Amber Clark's modern interpretation of "Beauty and the Beast" (she does the whole song, but I had to edit it so the clip would load).

Derrick Will Be So Proud

A few weeks ago, we had Derrick and Leslie over for dinner. Derrick taught the girls "Break the pickle...tickle, tickle!" and the "Me Chinese, me play joke..." hand game and rhyme. They laughed but didn't seem to think much of it. The other day, Karli came up to me and told me to "open the fridge". She had the whole routine down pat and it made me laugh so hard! She doesn't say the entire ending, but just says "pee pee in Coke!". I know, I know, I'm probably a bad mom to think something like that is funny, but her little voice is so darn cute that I just can't help but giggle.

By the way, does it seem like my kids are always nude? I take off their clothes before they eat so I don't have to do as much laundry...an example of laziness and exhibition...I guess I am a bad mom!

This Place Will Self Destruct

We lucked out when we moved to Lansing; thanks to Adam's valliant efforts, we moved into a brand new apartment that was cute, clean, spacious, and cheap in a convenient location. As our kids have grown up and exhibited their artistic skills in mixed media (read: jell-o, ink, spaghetti sauce, lotion, dirt, baby powder, nail polish, chocolate milk, peas, sunblock, red popsicles, and anti-bacterial hand gel), we've become increasingly worried that we won't receive any of our security deposit, because our lease says we'll be charged for "any damage incurred, regular wear and tear excepted". So just how much wear and tear is regular with two toddlers running around? As it turns out, we may have worried for nothing...

Last weekend while watching a movie, we heard a suspicious drip coming from the closet that houses the water heater and furnace. Upon opening the doors and being blasted with the dank smell of moldy drywall (wetwall in this case), we noticed the ceiling was soaked through and dripping onto the floor. That's right, we have another reason to love our upstairs neighbors: they keep their puppy in their utility closet and their pipes were "unattached". Along with wetness was moldiness, and of course, since it was Saturday night, no one was around to stop the drip. Finally, we tracked down the maintenance guy who brought over a 5-gallon bucket to catch the stray water and assured us the problem would be fixed first thing Monday morning.

Well, well, well...it's now been a week and not a single thing has been fixed (we've called to complain six times). The new maintenance man, Don, came over to inspect the situation and promptly tried to blame us ("Don't you use your exhaust fan? This is from the humidity in your house") and then explained that the drywall didn't need to be replaced, just "treated" with Clorox Clean-Up. Yeah, right, Don. I don't know the first thing about builiding, but I do know that you can't get mold out of drywall. Our bathroom ceiling (adjacent to the utility closet) is now being overtaken by mold and the plaster is turning yellow. The carpet outside said closet has been wet for several days and is developing it's own atrocious odor and interesting patterns of flora as well. The pilot light on our water heater keeps extinghuising, and I'm only one more cold shower away from having a complete breakdown. At least we won't have to worry about being charged for any damage done to the walls and carpet by our children. I'm glad we'll have an attorney in the family soon, because I smell a big, moldy lawsuit coming on if this problem doesn't go away tomorrow morning. Aaaaarrrrggggghhhh!

Greetings from Lansing

Yes, that's right, you are correct...we are still in Lansing. Here's an interesting twist of fate: we have buddy passes to fly to Utah on JetBlue Airlines, which means we have to fly standby and are always on the bottom of the list. Hence, we've been poised to head home for ten days now, living out of our suitcases while finding out right before we head to Chicago to board that the flights are all full. Yesterday, Adam was contacted by a dean at the school and offered a five-week internship with a firm in town that turns out to be an excellent opportunity to get some courtroom experience each week. There's no way in heck I'd want to be away from Adam for five weeks, so the kids and I are planning to stick around until August 12th.

Soooooo...I guess the girls can learn a few more bad words from the 'hood figgas outside, we can laugh a few more times at our ridiculous upstairs neighbor doing his daily walk of shame after he gets beaten up by his girlfriend, I can say goodbye to all of my friends again, and we can enjoy the adorable lightning bugs for a few more weeks! I always chuckle when I realize that Heavenly Father has a plan and there's not much we can do about it sometimes. This is a good reminder for me that I need to be more in tune with what He wants for our family. I am totally excited for Adam and the chance he has to put his skills to work in a unique environment and I am totally excited to be out of here for good. See you all real soon!

Los Idiomas de Juventud

I noticed last night that my girls have achieved the linguistic phenomenon described by Steven Pinker as "children spontaneously invent[ing] a consistent grammatical speech (a creole) even if they grow up among a mixed-culture population." For example, both girls have begun to use an "oye" sound instead of an "or" sound (to-moye-rrow, D-oye-ra, d-oye-r) and, to my utter disgust (sorry, all you Midwesterners!), saying "maaaaaahm" instead of "mom". Add to this the Ebonics that they've unavoidably picked up (a few days ago, Amber said, "What the hay-ell!?" just like the attitudinous multi-ethnic kids who lurk outside our door), and they are definitely in for it as far as accents and language go. Yikes!
I've also noticed my atrocious hybrid hick/blue collar (translated: Utah/Michigan) vernacular becoming increasingly grating to my own ears. Whatever will we do? A self-proclaimed linguist should never suffer from such cacaphony. I guess we'll just abide by another of Pinker's observations, that "rules like 'a preposition is not a proper word to end a sentence with' must be explicitly taught, therefore they are irrelevant to actual communication and should be ignored." Word.

Christopher Kimball, My Hero

He's edearingly dorky, yet nothing short of genius in the kitchen. He's Christopher Kimball, the founder of the public television show "America's Test Kitchen" and "Cook's Illustrated" magazine. While I've been a tepid fan of both for about ten years, I never fully appreciated the excellence of Kimball's ideas until I began using the recipes and methods his folks discover. The recipes are all wonderfully practical and produce the best results I've ever experienced. I highly recommend America's Test Kitchen for any recipe and/or technical information needs. You can sign up for a limited membership for free (which I have done), but I have a feeling the full membership would be well worth it! I received a free copy of the magazine in the mail three days ago and have already tried several of the recipes with grand success.

Betrothed

I was thrilled the other day when my friend, Elaine, let me know that her son Miles wants to marry Amber. Miles is one of the cutest, funniest little guys I know. Here's a picture of them at the Hawk Island Splash Park on Friday. I'm pretty sure Amber is smitten! Elaine and I have a secret plot to make sure they actually do get married; Miles can go on his mission while Amber goes to college, then they'll get hitched and I'll have the coolest in-laws and cutest grandchildren ever. :) Hooray for puppy love!

Memory Game

This is fun and cool:

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Since this is our family blog, feel free to leave a memory about any of the five of us.

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty cool (and funny) to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. Thanks!

Houston, I Have a Problem

I am addicted to blogging. I know this sounds odd and you may not believe it because I don't post every day, but the following scenario presented itself as a major warning to me that I need professional help:

Tuesday, none of the kids took naps (yikes, I know). By 4:30 p.m., they were all becoming testy, so I figured we'd head to the mall and have an exciting afternoon to keep them from dozing off at 7 p.m. only to awake, ready to party for 6 hours, at 11:30 p.m. We had a disastrous trip to say the least, so at 8:30, I was delighted to put them all to bed and have four hours of tranquility with Adam. If you're a parent, you're probably chuckling to yourself because you know what happens next...

Amber woke up at 12:30. After thirty minutes of whining, she fell asleep again. Then, Rex woke up to eat and promptly went back to bed. At 2:30, Karli started whining and wouldn't stop, so I put her in bed with me. Amber joined us shortly thereafter and, in her sleep, suspiciously began kicking Karli. Karli screamed each time she received a blow and was finally worked up into such a frenzy that Amber and I were both wide awake. When Karli realized I rebuked Amber for kicking her, she needed another irritant and decided to whine because she wanted to watch a movie. Determined to return to my well-deserved REM state, I put Karli back in her crib and let her scream for 20 minutes. Finally, Adam, who was preparing for a huge mock trial that was to take place 5 hours later, came in and rescued Karli from the dregs of her brutally confining crib. She was beyond consolation, however, and despite any attempt Adam made to pacify her, the screaming fit continued. His efforts to prepare any arguments for class were futile and he was royally ticked off.

By this point, Amber awoke again and chimed right in alongside Karli, wailing so loudly that our neighbors woke up and began stomping around to let us know they'd been disturbed (oh...if they only knew...). Adam was yelling, I was yelling, Karli and Amber were screaming, and not wanting to be forgotten, Rex started crying too. This continued until 5:30 a.m. until two of the three kids had cried themselves to exhaustion and Karli the Insomniac finally settled down to watch Teletubbies.

The point of this tangental saga is that throughout the whole episode, I kept thinking to myself, "This is going to make a great blog post." Then, in the middle of sternly explaining to Amber why she couldn't eat ice cream at 3:00 in the morning, an idea for the title of my post popped into my head. During the whole melee, I just wanted to escape to the office, lock the door, and describe the situation play-by-play. At first, I thought this was an evil desire, but now as I'm writing, I think it may be more of a boon than a burden. My blogging addiction could actually be a cathartic coping mechanism developed by my feeble brain to help me survive episodes of children-induced stress, panic, and sleep deprivation.

Shock and Awe

Celebrating my 28th birthday last week has put me into a state of shock and reflection. The shock comes from discovering more and more gray hairs on my head every day for the past two months, the rate at which said discovery is made being too rapid for me to pluck them out. Also producing shock in my life is the recently-discovered phenomenon of instantaneous weight gain. My body is not like it was twelve short months ago; now, if I eat a carb-rich diet one day, I pay for it the next by barely being able to wedge myself into my clothes. Add to this my severe muscular atrophy that can only be slowed by pumping iron religiously each day, and I feel like I should be 82 instead of 28. Surely I must be older than a late-20-something.
Reflection stems from thinking about what a marvelous life I've had thus far, and the promise of more wonderful years to come. I have an amazing husband who magnificently juggles a rigorous school schedule with taking care of our kids so I can squeeze in a few breaks here and there, along with teaching all of us valuable lessons of dedication, tenacity, humility, humor, and Christlike love for others. He is the best blessing in my life! Our three sweet and adorable kids make me happy every single day and help me learn to be patient even when it's the last characteristic I want to exercise. I have such great parents, siblings, in-laws, grandparents and friends who give me love and support, and I feel like I have blessings more than I deserve. Here's to many more birthdays and years of life filled with good things, happy times, and great people!

These blueberry scones are my favorite breakfast (or anytime) treat; I made them for myself on my birthday and ate nearly the whole batch (and I complain about being overweight...duh!). They are completely divine. Obviously, I couldn't button my jeans the next day. Click here if you want the recipe.

Doesn't Miss a Beat

Karli is funny...she doesn't make much noise (that is, when she's not throwing a fit), sits around and observes, and when no one's expecting it, does something hilarious with all the information she's absorbed. Case in point: last night, Adam, Derrick, Leslie, and I were eating dinner while the kids played. We looked over to see Karli "feeding" her baby doll named Jessica. She had even donned my nursing cover. She'll be a great mom someday!

Rockin' Out Hillbilly Style

Three years ago (before he was the mega-star that he is today), Adam and I went to a Trace Adkins concert in Grantsville, Utah. It was awesome, so I was thrilled to learn that he was playing in Lansing at the Common Ground Music Festival. I bought us tickets for my birthday present to myself, and yesterday we loaded up a blanket, the stroller, and the young 'uns and headed downtown to Adado Riverfront Park (by the way, the girls were stoked to hear that they were going to watch a real cowboy sing "Slap Your Grandma" aka "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk", which is one of their favorite songs).

The gates opened at 5:30 p.m., so we were there right on time to stake our claim on the best lawn seating we could get (which actually turned out to be pretty good). We helped ourselves to cotton candy, hot dogs in scones instead of buns (it sounds gross but it was actually yummy), licorice, fresh lemonade, freshly cut french fries, and a host of other horrifyingly non-nutritious-yet-delicious fair food to pass the time. Karli even enjoyed two tubes of complimentary chapstick and had minty-fresh breath and lips for the duration of the evening. Finally, around 7:00, we wondered if the concert would ever start. Adam spotted an usher and asked him what time it was supposed to get under way, and found out we still had two and a half hours left to wait!

With three kids under three, any period of idleness longer than 30 minutes can turn into a disaster at the nod of a head, so my internal panic mode immedately switched on. I didn't bring warm clothes for anyone, and our kids had only eaten junk food. I figured Rex would need to eat at some point so I took my nursing cover, but started to feel totally awkward when I actually had to breastfeed him while sitting on a blanket, surrounded by drunken people of all walks of life (it was more wierd for me to breastfeed in front of the white trash instead of the gentry...crazy, huh?). Adam and Amber left for a while to print some cases at Adam's school, and Karli helped herself to the $2 bottles of Pepsi and water, dumping them out all over the blanket, herself, and the neighbors while I was helplessly bound by humiliation to Rex until he finished eating. Add to this about seventy-eight comments by everyone around us on the size of our family (and ages), and I didn't know if I'd be able to make it.

I remained calm, though, determined to have a rockin' time, and everything miraculously worked out (can I say "miraculously" when I'm talking about breaking the Sabbath?!). Remarkably, Karli sat on the blanket and entertained herself and didn't even try to run away, and Rex didn't make a peep. Adam and Amber came back just in time for the warm-up act. The sky was cloudy but no rain fell, the kids didn't cry or whine until we were on our way to the car, and Trace Adkins played all of our favorite tunes. We even had a little swarm of lightning bugs right in front of us, which was charming beyond words. It was one of the most fun times we've had as a family and was definitely worth the money I didn't know if I should spend on myself.

A photographer from a local magazine asked if she could take our picture for the next issue, so that was flattering and kind of fun. My favorite part of the concert was the song "Arlington". Representatives from the Army passed out small, American flags during the waiting period before the concert, and everyone stood up and waved their flags during the song. It was a beautiful sight to behold with beautiful music playing. I hope we get to go to another Trace Adkins concert; it was grand!

Tales from the 'Hood, Vol. 186

We made plans to occupy our whole weekend, so we were sure we'd be able to avoid the weekly visit from the police or episode of domestic violence. Unfortunately, fate found us only moments before we walked out the door on our way to Don and Joan's:

As I put shoes on all six little feet (right in front of our door), I heard a frantic pounding. I looked out the peephole to see our neighbor, Adria (14years old) cowering by our door and sobbing. I let her in and she immediately ran into our bathroom, choking out "Don't let her beat me anymore!" I asked her to calm down and tell me what was going on, and she said her mom was beating her. Nicole (her mom) knocked on our door and Adria started sobbing again, whispering "Don't tell her I'm here!" Adam explained to Adria that we couldn't hide her in our apartment without criminal penalty, so he let Nicole in.

At this point, Adria was calling her grandma on our phone (we said she could), and Nicole took the phone from her hand and commanded her to "hang up that (expletive) phone and get your (expletive)-ing (expletive) outside this minute!" Adria screamed back, insisting she wouldn't leave our house without police presence, so Nicole and Adria stood in our entry way screaming four letter words at each other, wrestling and struggling in front of our kids (and Nicole's other two kids who are 10 and 3 years old) for about five minutes while Adam and I stood next to them in utter disbelief and shock.

Finally, the drama had gone far enough, so Adam told them it had to stop. I said we couldn't have that happening in front of our kids, so Nicole apologized and asked (aksed...ha ha ha, just kidding) Adam to please tell Adria to leave our apartment. Adria didn't look like she was wounded, but we didn't know for sure because she has really dark skin. I wasn't sure what to do, so Adam offered to call the police and told Adria she could wait by our door until they came. Adria finally went outside, where Nicole was waiting (right in front of our door) to rail on her for disrespecting our house and embarrassing her mom in front of neighbors, using the f-word more frequently than any gangsta rapper I can think of.

It was quite the spectacle, and a very, very awkward situation. I never imagined we'd get to witness the infamous Arbors-at-Georgetown-Ghetto-Action right in the comfort of our own living room! Needless to say, our poor kids were utterly traumatized (I was, too). Only six days left...hooray!

Saturday at the Holmes Home

My husband's step-grandpa's brother and his wife (how's that for a Mormon association), Don and Joan Holmes, live in Howell and have us over once or twice a semester. They have an amazing yard, are magnificent cooks, and live in the most beautiful, quiet neighborhood we've seen in Michigan. We went to their house on Saturday for a barbecue with Don, Joan, Jennifer (their granddaughter) and her husband Tom, and Jacob and Joshua, their kids. It was fabulous to be able to escape the drama of our neighborhood (well, almost...a post is coming about the weekly episode!) for a day and enjoy some peace, quiet, and normalcy. We will miss Don and Joan immensely when we move!

Amber and Karli loved to play and find frogs, lightning bugs, hummingbirds and chipmunks in the yard. They even asked Don if they could swim in his waterfall. Amber said it was a perfect slide and that it would be so fun! Don very politely declined. :)

Great Times with the Greatest Women

Living in Lansing has been a wonderful experience, due largely to the great friends I've been able to meet over the past three years. I am so impressed by their willingness to share everything they have and to help out in any way possible. I feel very blessed to know each of them and to be able to count them among my closest friends. I will definitely miss seeing them weekly and shooting the breeze at church, playgroup, or Target!

A few of us got together on Tuesday at DeLuca's (for the best pizza on the planet if you ask me) to enjoy one last hoorah before we all depart. Thanks, Elaine, for setting it up and thanks Julie, Diana, Sadie, Leslie, and Becky for being there. It was great fun. I sure will miss you!

Strange Obsessions

Amber and Karli are obsessed with all things romantic, from deciding which of the Disney princes they will marry to watching the seemingly innocent kissing scenes in the princess movies over and over and over again. Several times each day, out of the blue, Karli reminds me (since we've reminded her several times) that only "mommies and daddies kiss on lips. We only kiss on cheeks, huh?" Then she says, "Ariel and Eric kiss on lips, huh?! That's crazy!" I feel kind of disturbed by their obsession with kissing at the tender ages of two and three. Adam and I must be in for some rough teenage years!

Liz Tagged Me

What was I doing 10 years ago:
I had just graduated from high school and started classes at Ricks College. I was a lifeguard at Heise Hot Springs and loved being able to finally hang out with the college crowd and not be considered a lame high school student! :)

What is on my to-do list for today?
Grocery shopping, packing, chillin' with Adam

Three of my bad habits:
1. Negative self talk
2. Eating when bored
3. Judging people

Three things you might not know about me:
1. I want to be a guest on Jay Leno's show
2. I love to dance and sneakily do so when people aren't watching
3. I got accepted to law school (but I'm glad I didn't go!)

Movies/TV shows I love:
1. The Sopranos (A&E Version)
2. So You Think You Can Dance
3. Crash
4. Gladiator
5. Project Runway

Four Books I Love:
1. The Book of Mormon
2. The Language Instinct
3. The Hundred Dresses
4. Baking With Julia

Four Jobs I've Had:
1. Tumbling Teacher
2. Lifeguard
3. Public Relations Manager
4. Writer

Five Places that I've Lived:
1. Rexburg, Idaho
2. Alpine, Utah
3. St. George, Utah
4. Provo, Utah
5. Lansing, Michigan

Five of My Favorite Foods:
1. Deep dish pizza with ham from DeLuca's
2. Bread (right out of the oven)with homemade strawberry freezer jam
3. Vegetables
4. Black licorice
5. Ice cream

Ghetto Drama: Two for One Special

As you well know, we've had lots of trouble with our upstairs neighbor, Nancy, and her boyfriend, Richard, who fought incessantly for about six months. Finally, they stopped fighting, procured employment (as shady as it seems, at least they're out of the house), bought a nice car (drugs, anyone?), and have been model tenants except for the cigarette butts that continue to fall from their balcony onto our porch. It's actually been bearable to live beneath them for about a month.
We noticed that Nancy and Richard had a girl and guy hanging around this weekend, and last night the guests were alone in the apartment. They started fighting, rolling around, calling each other every foul name in the book, and he slapped her a few times, eliciting a few "Please stop!" screams. We called the police once, they came to the apartment, and of course, like every battered woman in the neighborhood, she told them she was fine and that nothing was happening. Ten minutes passed before they were at it again, so Adam ran outside to knock on the door while calling 911. He noticed a police car further down the lot, so he thought the officer may be able to stop at apartment #5 on his way out.
Moments before Adam went out to check out the domestic violence in #5, we heard a series of six loud, rhythmic cracks that could have been fireworks, but sounded like gunshots (we still don't know what they were). While Adam stood outside trying to get someone to stop the insanity above our apartment, at least ten police cars screeched into the parking lot with sirens and lights blaring, zooming past Adam toward our clubhouse. In the land of perpetual porchsitting, events of this nature are always a spectacle and everyone in the complex seemed to swarm the area to see what happened. Police cars lined the parking lot, blocking off the clubhouse, and lined the two streets that lead into our complex. We only know that there was "a big fight" in the clubhouse.
The guy upstairs must have called Nancy, because about 20 minutes later she stood at our door, yelling in an annoyed/panicky voice that she heard we called the cops regarding her guests. She continued to spew information that they were only 15 and 16 years old, had dropped out of school and were trying to get pregnant (the Apocalypse should begin any moment) and that they promised to behave themselves while Nancy and Richard went to a birthday party. Ahhh....Heaven help the future of this nation!
Adam explained the situation which made Nancy even more irate because her guests were sabotaging her recently polished reputation. Adam calmly told her we called the police twice because the girl was yelling for help. Nancy marched up to her apartment, dragged the girl down to our door, and asked Adam to verify that she was the girl in the apartment. After verification, Nancy marched the girl back upstairs, demanded that she and the boyfriend leave immediately, and Richard's wrath was let loose upon the pair of them until they made the walk of shame from our building to the bus stop. Talk about entertainment; we are so excited to get out of here!