The Brown Dress

Occasionally, we are the beneficiaries of some charitable distant relatives who generously give Amber and Karli the unused clothing of their granddaughter who has more clothes than anyone on this planet. When they drop off a bag, there are usually several items from Gap, Gymboree, and Children's Place that still bear tags and are just the right size, so we are eternally grateful for these. Most recently we found this brown dress in the mix. It's a size 8 (Amber is not), a summer dress, and when worn forward (not backward, as obviously preferred), it shows a great amount of little-kid-cleavage (read: private parts). Notwithstanding, Amber loves this dress. She wears it every single day, and it's all I can do to keep her from stripping down to her skivvies and donning the cursed dress after I tediously vest her in a cute outfit that actually fits. Ultimately, I don't like the dress because I feel like Amber looks like a homeless kid, or even a trailer-park escapee when she wears it, but I have now decided to give up the fight since it happens several times each day. I should be glad that I only have one item of Amber's laundry to wash, albeit every night, and the fact that it hides stains so well makes it almost worth it. Hooray for obsessions!

Innuendo or Just a Little Techie Boredom?

Have any of you noticed recently that when, after writing a comment on your friends' blogs, you are required to enter text in a window, the text now spells words? It seems like I always get funny (okay, okay...I'm immature) words like "duchable" (it means "showerable" in Spanish and I think you know what it means in English), "zotho", "alkabia", "mastu", and several others that I can't remember now.

I think it's a conspiracy among Google employees; they sit in a dark-ish room at their computers, adjusting their glasses once in a while, and create stories with nonsense words. Then, they each take a word and put it up on our screens to see if we catch on, and laugh their heads off because they are really getting us good. Well, maybe with my imagination, I should be one of them! :) Happy typing, everyone.

A Whole 'Lotta Booty for Not Much Booty

I procured a Gymboree Visa two years ago (dangerous, I know) because I realized the immense saving potential linked to such a marvelous piece of plastic and I couldn't resist. When I opened my account, I saved like 75% on some darling Easter dresses for my girls. Then, I earned a $25 gift card for activating my card, with which I bough Rex an entire dinosaur ensemble for six dollars. I recently received a $10 gift card in the mail, so I went to Gymboree today and found this darling outfit for Amber. Grand total: $2. That's right, just two bucks for the headband, shirt, and pants. Not too shabby, eh? I do have to admit that I used a coupon for 30% off my entire purchase (the event lasts through tomorrow, so hurry up and go!), but now I feel totally validated in using my Gymboree Visa on a regular basis.

Amber fixed her own hair, if you can't tell.

Here's a sure sign that I'm a bad mom:

A few days ago, I tried on my smallest pair of jeans to see if I could fit into them after having Rex. Amber watched me struggle to lift the zipper and said, "Mom, what's wrong?" I replied, "My booty is just a little too big for these pants" trying to say that I was too fat for jeans of that nature without giving Amber a complex. She said, "So, when your booty is a little bit smaller they will fit you?" "Yep." I replied.

When Amber tried on her new pants that are obviously huge on her (I have the grandma-purchasing-syndrome where I buy things too big so the kids will grow into them), she said, "Hey, dad! My booty is a little bit too big, so when it's smaller then my pants will fit me!" Adam just said, "Nice job" to me and I felt awful despite my heaving laughter. So much for not creating a complex!

Little Sister Lily in Downtown Copenhagen

My little sister Allison, a.k.a Sister Liljenquist (or Sos. Lily for those of you who speak Danish), flew to Denmark on Monday to begin missionary service in downtwon Copenhagen. We saw her off at the airport and it was awesome to see her filled with the exuberant spirit of the Lord's service. She looked great (a bit granola compared to her old self, but still adorable) and was speaking Danish like crazy. I am proud of her!

Can you tell we're related? Allison is my cuter twin.

The kids were a bit sleepy since we had to leave our house at 6:00 a.m., but they liked seeing Allison all decked out in her missionary gear.

Here's Alli with her new companion at the mission office.

Metallica Rocks Salt Lake CIT-TAY!

Sometimes an event becomes so much more than just an event, like Christmas for example. Christmas day is wonderful, but the parties and food and sights and smells that lead up to the actual holiday are the things that make it magical. Such was the case last night at the Metallica concert. I've been to a few great shows (Aerosmith and Trace Adkins were my previous faves), but this spectacle was more phenomenal than anything I've ever seen in my life!

Here's the play by play: I coached last night until 6:30 and when I got home, Adam had all the kids' stuff ready to go, their shoes on, and took them to my parents' house for some quality time with Grandma Shelley and Marianne. I threw on a rockin' outfit (black miniskirt, anyone?) with some gigantic earrings and hopped in the car. We payed for good parking near the Energy Solutions Arena and made our way to the Will Call counter among headbangers who looked like they walked right out of a 1988 music video, teenage skater boys, classy middle-aged couples, and some of the trashiest gals I've ever seen (white tanktops only look good on a select few!).

We arrived in the middle of the opener's set, a band called Down, The Sword, who employs a few of Pantera's members. I've never heard music, I mean noise, that loud in my life! While I must admit it was very entertaining and momentarily hilarious to see a throng of people totally whipping their hair around to the beat of some mean bass guitar played from a serious power stance, I'm just not a fan of death metal. We had amazing seats, though, so it was fun to see how those musicians could perform. Although Down, The Sword had gritty riffs and some outstanding guitar-behind-the-back moves, they were foul enough to make Metallica seem like a group of choir boys, which, I guess, is ultimately a good thing.

Once the ruckus stopped, we talked to a few of our neighboring Metalheads and ate a yummy hot dog. Suddenly, the lights went down and a tumultuous cheer arose. Dramatic guitar music began and about a million cell phone screens illuminated the arena. There were only a few lighters present, from which I could gather one of two things: Generation Y is much more safety-concious, or we were in Salt Lake City where smokers are (thankfully) fewer and farther between than, say, in Lansing. Out ran James, Lars, Kirk, and Rob and every arm in the arena (except mine and Adam's, of course...we are way too boring) went up to the diagonal to proudly fist-thump to the pounding rhythm. It was certainly amazing to behold!

Metallica has to be the best group of showmen I've ever witnessed. The crowd was more loyal than BYU fans (he he, losers!), the pyrotechnics were so powerful that I think my eyelashes singed a bit, and the music was so loud that I could feel my ribs shaking in my chest with every chord. It was such a great combination of crazy, air-guitar-playing, maniacal fans, rockin' music, awesome visual effects, and delightful company (our first kid-free date in about three years, I think) that it became by far my favorite concert ever. I'm still deaf in one ear, but it's a small price to pay to the rock gods!

Here we are after the concert in our stupified metal coma. We shouted to each other the whole way home! I can't wait 'til we're 90...it'll be bad.

The stage setup was awesome; they played on the floor in the middle of the arena. We sat at center court on row 17, so we could feel the heat from the fire and see the sweat flying off the musicians' faces. Thankfully we were far enough away that none landed on us.

James Hetfield has the coolest rock n' roll voice, not to mention his sweet, '80's-throwback guitar.

It was awesome! Maybe someday you'll see me in black tapered jeans, a concert T-shirt cut into an off-the-shoulder, cropped number with a leopard bra underneath, and a wicked Metallica tatt on my left shoulder blade. Adam can grow a bald-on-top mullet like the guy sitting in front of me. Isn't that thought frightening?

Scary Fun for Everyone

We had a grand and marvelous Halloween this year with lots of family fun. Kristi hosted a fantastic party with tons of yummy food (Yoshida-braised meatballs...yum!) and adorable Halloween decor, then we all headed over to their ward's Trunk or Treat where all the kids scored way too much candy and some sweet glow-stick necklaces. Stephanie and I were the only adults who dressed up (both as witches); the Clarks have never been into dressing up, so we in-laws have to add a little spice to the party. Steph let me borrow this sweet wig to complement my witchy wardrobe and makeup:

Doesn't Rex make the perfect little Yoda? This is my all-time favorite Halloween costume! Check out my Hanna Montana tatts, courtesy of Karli and Amber.

Here's Karli as "Purple Tinkerbell", complete with her famous pirate smile. Hooray!

Amber didn't just want to be Ariel, she had to be "Sparkly Ariel".

I had so much fun making Karli and Amber's costumes (I think I had more fun this Halloween than they did), and it was great to be around cousins, siblings, in-laws, and grandparents this year. Amber told me this morning that she wants it to be Halloween again today. Yikes. :)

Here's another fun (some of you may find it scary) fact: Adam and I are going to the Metallica concert tonight! I can't wait to get all decked out in my rocker gear, wear some mega black eyeliner, and do my share of serious headbanging. If I can muster up my senses by then, I'll post a full report tomorrow. YYYYEEEEAAAHHHH (read that with a booming, James-Hettfield-esque roar)!

Giddy as a Schoolgirl

The happy couple.

This post is going to be cheesey, so beware!

Seven years ago this week, I met Adam. For those of you who don't know the story, my parents bought a building-in-process house in Alpine in July of 2001 and we all worked on it night and day until it was ready for occupancy in late October (I was living at home after I graduated; what can I say...I was a loser!). My mom had met some of the neighbors and told me that the Young Women's President had a cute son who recently returned from a mission. "Right," I thought to my self. Like I really wanted to date a dorky RM who was a member of my same ward! I politely declined my mom's incessant offers to set us up, as well as her informative quip that our new ward had a YSA Sunday School class that she thought I'd like to attend. Dating "wardies" (as my sisters dub them) was soooo not my style.

Long ago when we lived in Rexburg, my brother had a friend who was my age named Adam Clark. He was a super nice guy, but totally not attractive to me. Brian always told me, "You're going to marry Adam Clark; I just know it!" and I vehemently denied it every time. I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when, on the first Sunday of attendance in our new ward, a devistatingly handsome guy approached me and said, "Hi. I'm Adam Clark. Do you want to go to Sunday School with me?" I couldn't even get a grip on myself because I was so stunned that a guy as hot as him would even talk to me, let alone walk right up and introduce himself (I was usually the pursuer...again, I was a loser). I think I stammered something ridiculous like, "Hi. I'm Sure, I mean, sure, I'd love to. I'm Natalie" and as we walked off, I pretty much tripped over both of my feet or my shoe fell off or something, but I was thrilled to be walking with such a dashing man who was polite to boot (he opened all the doors and helped me with my chair).

Nonetheless, we made it to the class and I was thrilled to hear the teacher volunteer Adam to drive the batch of YSAs from our ward to the stake fireside that night. Of course, I went (hello! Adam was driving) and Adam and I talked the whole time. I knew it was love at first sight, and after a month of dating, I committed the ultimate relationship no-no that any gal in her right mind would know better than to do: I said, "I am falling in love with you, so if you don't think you're going to fall in love with me, let's not date anymore." Can you believe it? I mean, what was I thinking? Obviously, the results were positive, and we got engaged in Salt Lake City during the 2002 Olympics.

Because of this momentus experience, fall always conjures up giddy, exciting, romantic feelings inside me and I love to reminisce about how awesome it was to know I had found Mr. Perfect. We had such a fun, fast, and exuberant courtship and I love that we are in love now even more than we were seven years ago. I am thrilled to be married to my very best friend and can't imagine a better life than the one we've built. So, here's to young love, Jazz games, CES firesides as excues for Sunday dates, songs by John Michael Montgomery, and making out in Burgess Park. Yeah baby!

R-Y-D-A-L-C-H Spells One-Third of the Earth's Population

My wonderful grandparents, the Rydalches, have eleven kids and a burgeoning posterity that is so massive, each of us has a number (don't worry...my grandparents still know everyone's name). We have more family gatherings than any other group or organization known to mankind. Don't get me wrong...the Rydalch events are always great fun, but as a second-generation family member who is parenting a few of the third generation, the weekly rendezvoux can be a little overwhelming. That said, I always look forward to the annual Halloween party because my aunties are fabulous cooks (I'd pit them against any Italian ladies), they bring the best treats for trick-or-treating, and my uncles are all hilarious. Add to this a multitude of adorable cousins, and it's always a magnificent party. Here are all of the cool family members who dressed up for this year's shindig:
We congregated at a park in Pleasant View (I want to move there...it's amazing!) to enjoy a glorious fall day and some delightful company. Dinner followed true Idahoan fashion (baked potato bar with spuds fresh from the ground...so yummy) and we had a great time admiring all those fantastic costumes. So until next week, this is Natalie Clark, number 17, signing off.

Adorable Boy, He Is

Rex is growing up so fast and lately he's been achieving relatively major accomplishments on a daily basis. He can sit up by himself for several minutes before toppling over, he wolfs down a jar of baby food in about five minutes, he swipes an adult's beverage quicker than you can say "I'm thirsty", and he loves to play with toys. Amy, my sister-in-law, loaned us this darling Yoda costume for Rex's Halloween adventures. I can't stop smiling when I see him in it; it's just so darn cute (it's even cuter with the Jedi robe, but you'll have to wait until Friday to see the entire ensemble)!

The force is strong with this one.

My baby is getting so big! Yay and boo hoo hoo all at the same time.

Murphy's Law of the Gospel

We were asked three weeks ago to speak in church; originally, they asked us to speak on October 18th, but postponed it by a week due to a mission farewell. Adam and I worked on our talks a bit over the extended preparation period, but didn't really have anything of substance put together until last night. We have both been sick recently and I worried that I'd be sniffling and sneezing throughout my quip, but thankfully I'm on the recovery end of my illness. I went to bed last night with a minor headache, but knew I'd be okay to speak.

Adam went to bed last night with a minor headache, too, but he's on the incubation end of his illness, and woke up every hour or so with a violent cough and major congestion in his throat and lungs. I didn't know it because he slept downstairs and worked on his talk between episodes of sleeping and coughing, but during my shower, he peeked in and mouthed the words, "I feel like crap today!" because he didn't have even a shred of a voice.

Oh, the horror! He couldn't speak, which meant one of three things: I'd have to extend my talk on kindness to fill 25 minutes (it was barely pushing nine minutes in my practice run), I'd have to give my talk and his talk, or I'd have to coax my dad or a member of the bishopric to give Adam's talk. Lest you think Adam was ducking out of speaking, he really had no voice, and when he could muster a word or two, it sounded more like the gurgling of motor oil in an engine than a human vocalization. I felt so bad for him because he was miserable, and he felt so bad for me because I was on the verge of performing a one woman show for the entire second half of Sacrament Meeting.

Things actually went better than I expected; Adam kept Karli and Rex home with him, and Marianne (my saintly little sis) arrived at 8:30 to help me get Amber ready. We even made it to church with time to spare (can you believe it?!) and Adam had his talk all written out so I could give it without too many hitches. Granted, I'm sure I didn't deliver it with the fervor Adam intended, but for the most part, I think it went alright. The panic I felt when I was seated all alone on the rostrum (where was the promised youth speaker and musical performers?) left me when I realized that the youth speaker was blessing the sacrament and that the choir was going to sing, and Amber even made some adorable monster faces at me from the audience to try to get me to laugh. I managed to fill up all but seven minutes of speaking time and Bishop Tintle kindly added a few remarks at the end of the meeting. I can certainly say that I am glad to have our speaking assignment over. Now, if only we could get over our stupid, everlasting colds, we'd all be peachy!

This Lady's Got Skills

For about ten years, I've loved to read "Undressed!" on MSN.com (don't worry...it's not like it sounds...it's a celebrity fashion faux pas website). Kat Giantis is one of the best writers whose work I've read, so if you need a good laugh and an easy-to-swallow vocabulary lesson, click here.

Could It Be OCD?

I feel like I'm fairly laid back; I realize that I cannot control every event in my life and for the most part, I can roll with whatever happens. There are, however, a few things that stay on my mind to the point of interrupting my daily proceedings. First, blogging. I obviously have an obsession that is bordering on unhealthy; I guess I need an outlet of some sort because I continually think of topics to blog and run to the computer every chance I get. Adam and the girls now call me Violet, as in Screech's nerdy girlfriend who is a total computer geek.

Second, loading of the dishwasher. I had such a struggle to bite my tongue and leave the room to avoid reorganization of dishes in the dishwasher when we had company last week. My Dr. Jeckyl personality realizes that it is so helpful to me that my guests actually load the dishwasher and that I should be absolutely thankful for their willingness to pitch in, but my Mrs. Hyde personality secretly screamed every time I noticed someone putting a dinner fork in the soup spoon slot of the utensil holder and dropping the butter knives in the slots with the blades facing upward. I mean, come on...what dishwasher unloader on this planet can grab those upward-facing utensils and put them in the drawer without getting hand germs on the surfaces that go into other people's mouths (not to mention avoid getting stabbed a zillion times)? How much time does a person waste sorting out the tangle of tines and blades of forks and knives that are intermixed while unloading the clean untensils? It's all about efficiency, people!

Last, folding of towels. My mom drilled into my head the "proper" way to fold towels, to resemble those found in department stores and hotels (I have since learned that each household has a different "proper" way...go figure). I cannot look in a linen closet and leave it alone if the towels are folded in quarters, say, instead of my half-half-thirds method. It's all I can do to keep myself from ripping the towels off every shelf and re-folding them. The same goes for laundry of any sort. I have my ways and I like them. I even almost told Adam not to fold the gargantuan pile of laundry today because I didn't want to have to re-fold my undies or turn the articles of clothing right-side-out. Why can't I be more like a man in the laundry regard?

So, here's the question of the day: What the $@#& is wrong with me?! I really do appreciate the help and would much rather play with my kids (or blog, he he he) instead of do laundry or dishes. Hopefully I can continue to squelch my developing OCD and learn to just chill out.

Hey 'Lil Mama

Always the multi-tasker, I spent bedtime folding laundry in my room while Karli tried to wind down and Rex screamed at the top of his lungs for about fifteen minutes while wriggling around in his crib. Karli said, "Mom, Wexy need to share my blantet. He want to." Since I had quite enough of the screaming, I lifted him out of the crib and laid him down next to Karli. She immediately spread her blanket across his lower body, snuggled up, and sang "Happy Working Song" from Enchanted to Rex until he fell asleep. It was so darling and I'm still impressed by her nannying skills. I have a new bedtime helper...yay!

Seven-Year Itch

I've been crazy about Aerosmith for fourteen years now, and my dad surprised Adam and me with tickets (awesome seats) when the band came to Salt Lake seven years ago. The concert was phenomenal and I loved them even more after I saw their live show. Yesterday I broke out some A-tunes for a major rockin'-out-in-the-car jam session and decided it's high time we see another Aerosmith show. Giddyup!

The Golding of the Leaves

While watching Thumbelina with my girls the other day, I was amused when the Fairy King and Queen participated in "the golding of the leaves." I found that phrase to be utterly charming because fall is my favorite season. I'm glad I took these pictures yesterday from our deck because they highlight the beautiful, golden landscape that I adore. Enjoy!

Grandpa Smith, M.D.

Growing up, I only saw a doctor when it was mandated by county code or when my life was in serious danger. My mom is a big fan of the phrase "Walk it out", so my siblings and I never really had regular check-ups after age two unless a bone was protruding from our skin or we couldn't breathe. Thus, I never had a flu shot until I married Adam and had free and easy access to the vaccine thanks to Adam's wonderful Grandpa Smith. Now, flu shots are an annual event in the Clark home. Grandpa is so nice to pay for the vaccine and administer them to all of the adults in the family after a nice Sunday dinner. It sure beats waiting at the doctor's office!

Here I am signing the roster and dreading my impending shot.

The older I get, the less I can stand having needles poked into me. I am naseous just posting this picture!

It's a good thing you can't see my face in this shot because I'm sure I was on the verge of tears and vomit. My fists were clenched so tightly that my fingernail cut the palm of my hand!

Grandpa Smith is one of the kindest and most generous people I know. He is over 80 years old and still works at the State Health Department. He's so talented and smart and I'm lucky to be able to have him in my life.

Choncho and Rexy

Rex made a new best friend over the past week: my sweet nephew, Hunter. They are about 18 months apart but I think they'll grow up to be great pals. Anytime Rex was awake, Hunter would saunter over and say, "Reh!" and tickle his toes or give him a kiss. Rex got a big kick out of all the attention.

Hunter seemed thrilled to be able to hold Rex.

See how excited Rexy is?

Hunter is no small fry; he's not even two yet and he dwarfs Karli and Gracie. Hence, his oldest sister Brooklyn dubbed him "Choncho" after the darling little boy in Nacho Libre. I love that nickname and I adore Hunter!

Potty Progress Update

I made it through a whole day without changing a single one of Karli's diapers, which means she used the potty about 14 times in one 24-hour period! I'm thrilled! I know this picture is of a somewhat questionable nature (Hope Floats, anyone?), but I'm so excited about her newfound skills and it's so cute that I just have to post it. Please pardon my attempt at censorship; Karli is proud to show off her token look: nudie.

Potty Progress

Today was a joyous day; Karli wore panties for several hours and even came inside from playing (on her own volition, mind you) and used the bathroom ALL BY HERSELF! She recognized that she had to go! Hooray! I didn't even care that she pooped all over in her panties five minutes later. I will be thrilled when she's totally trained.

The Birth of a Ya Ya Tradition

For all of you doubters out there, I'm here to testify that the Ya Ya Sisterhood sale at Thanksgiving Point is a blast and I'm making it a tradition! Aside from the fantastic bargains on tons of great furniture, decor, etc., there was lots of delicious food samples, fun booths for glitter toes and lip/eyebrow waxing, a burning of woes, a lantern decorating contest, door prizes (I won two free cooking classes at the Emporium Kitchen, yay!), chocolate-dipped fortune cookies and great music.

I met my dear friend Tiffany there and we had fun catching up on our families' crazy lives, checking out all of the darling fare and wishing we had an unlimited supply of cash so we could let loose and purchase everything we loved. Isn't Tiff's witch hat the best? She is an amazing woman and I love spending time with her. I had originally planned to leave all of the kids home with Adam, but as I walked out the door, both Amber and Karli said, "We want to go to the girl party, too!" and cried and sobbed until I caved in and let them tag along. It was actually really fun to have them there, and they looked adorable in their Halloween costumes (Amber was Ariel and Karli was Tinkerbell). I am definitely making this event a tradition in my family, and maybe next year I'll have some funds to buy something really fabulous like the black leather Queen Anne chair that was screaming to me "buy me right now!"

Nothing makes me feel like a hot mama more than fake eyelashes, a hot dress and stiletto boots!

One of the ladies working at the party gave me the name Countess Fiesty Pants. I got a cool sash and everything. Me, fiesty? Nah...

I borrowed all of my sisters' cool makeup and even some false eyelashes encrusted with rhinestones. I LOVE funky makeup and had a grand time creating and sporting this multi-colored look.

I'm already thinking about what to wear to next year's party, and I'm certainly going to make time to decorate a lantern according to the plan I had for this year (which was unfortunately squelched due to lack of kid-free time over the past week, but oh well). So, bring on the competition and the sisterhood. Ya ya!