Cinderella, Aurora, Belle, and Drama Queen?

Amber and Karli have only seen "Snow White" one time; I watched it with them and was horrified by the morbid theme. Hence, the girls are much more familiar with the fairly happy, romantic tales of "Cinderella," "Sleeping Beauty," and "Beauty and the Beast." Today Karli found a Snow White sticker and said, "Look Mom! I found a Drama Queen sticker!" Now does everyone know what I call my two little princesses?

The First Word is a Good One

Rex learned his first word and it's adorable! Yesterday we were getting ready for another cheer competition. The girls, Rex, and I were upstairs while Adam ran down to get something. Rex crawled over to the railing and yelled out, "Daaaa!" Adam came over and said, "Did you say 'dad'?" and Rex jumped up and down and squealed with delight. He has asked for "Daaaa" several times this weekend and it's just darling!

Stranger than Fiction

Here's the ulitmate word verification: I'm sure you recall my post about implants a few days ago. Kacey left a comment and guess what the word verification was...boobpla. Can you believe it? Crazy. That's even better than the rearbear verification I wrote about a few weeks ago. I think the techie nerds at blogger.com are reading my blog and I'm flattered.

Give a Cheer for No More Scouts!

Hip hip hooray! Adam and I were released from scouts today, which means I'm only one more den meeting away from a major relief of stress. I kind of feel like a schmuck for complaining so much about my calling, but honestly, I tried my hardest and couldn't do a good job. First, the BSA requires two leaders at each meeting. Adam has a class every day right during our den meeting, so that was impossible to achieve. Second, we had a nightly meeting every week of the month which, without a car (ours is parked at the U outside the law school building from 4 until 10 each night), was quite a chore to attend. Third, we can't afford to pay babysitters and all of our family members are occupied on meeting nights. I think the bishop felt a major surge of pity when he saw me tromp into the church last week for pack meeting bundled in a coat, scarf, and gloves, pushing my snow-covered double stroller with Rex and Karli bundled in it and Amber tagging along, bundled up and crying because she slipped four times on the trek down the icy sidewalks. It took us five minutes to un-bundle everyone and we got to sit right behind the bishop so he could hear every single whine, request for drink/snack/potty break/blankie/movie/etc.

I am now pleased to be the bulletin coordinator for the ward. This will be a fantastic calling that I can do via email...the perfect way for a dorky blogger to contribute! I'm super excited because I get to to the bulletin boards at the church building, too. It will be a welcome change.

A Great Memory

Tonight while enjoying another early bedtime for everyone in the house but me (yay!), I was working on the computer and listening to some of my favorite music. "Your Song" by Elton John came on and it conjured up so many great memories of when Adam and I were newlyweds and we lived in St. George. We would drive to Vegas frequently to hang around, eat cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory, shop for lingerie, see the sights on the Strip, and get burgers at In-n-Out. It was great fun to be able to pick up on a whim and hit the town. My favorite part of our jaunts was watching the Bellagio fountains that were choreographed to "Your Song". Standing there in the dark, watching beautiful scenes, hearing great music, and being with my sweetie was fabulous!

Mortification and/or Comedy

I was lucky enough (or I guess some could consider me unfortunate, depending on the perspective) to have the video camera handy when the girls helped me organize the gingerbread boy and girl Christmas tree ornaments the other day. Please note that Adam and I take every possible measure to ensure complete privacy as we consort, but for this I don't even have words...

Summer in a Bottle

I'm talking about OPI's Koala Bear-y nail polish. It's fantastic! I was feeling a little blah due to the toxic valley air (thank you, inversion) and the usual January doldrums, but as soon as I brushed this vibrant formula onto my toenails and fingernails...voila! I felt at least ten pounds skinnier and ten degrees warmer. I highly recommend it because it's oh-so-hot. I think I need to go to Mexico to show it off. I would have posted pictures, but something is wrong with my computer (of course). Hopefully I'll be able to post some soon. Cha cha cha!

The Silver Lining

I don't know how this happened, but maybe some heavenly host knew I needed some good news after the crazy compeition day. Both of my teams finished in second place! What the...? I didn't think they'd place at all, and they actually improved in rank from the last competition. Hooray! Despite all the problems and annoyances at the event, I am so proud of my darling little students for working as hard as they do. They are all so sweet and adorable and it is very rewarding to see them progress. Flaaaaaaash All Stars! Yeah!

Serenity Now!

Frank Costanza says it best when he screams, "Serenity now!" in the middle of a stressful situation. I'm going to start doing this as well, since I clearly need a mechanism for coping with stress. This morning we had a cheerleading competition that turned out to be a disaster. Here's a recap:

6:30 a.m. Wake up, shower, burn CD of competition music
7:00 a.m. Put the kids in the tub, construct four messy buns, find four white socks, head downstairs
8:00 a.m. Attempt to get the kids to eat
8:10 a.m. Listen to CD four times to verify proper working order...check!
8:31 a.m. Don shoes and coats, grab gigantic diaper bag full of baby gear, cheerleading gear, children's entertainment items, food, etc.
8:45 a.m. Load three carseats into my mom's Suburban, hit the road
9:30 a.m. Arrive at competition, register, and enjoy one last moment of peace and quiet
9:55 a.m. Escort twelve two-to-four-year-olds through a maze of screaming tweens, cranky and obsessive parents, and idiotic competition staff members to the practice gym for warm-up
9:56 a.m. Answer Adam's call to tell him where to be to watch the competition while helping six Tiny Tot cheerleaders build a pyramid
9:58 a.m. Answer Adam's call to tell him to wait outside and I'll find him and give him his ticket
9:59 a.m. Get kicked off the practice mat before our turn is over because the competition is ahead of schedule and we're supposed to be on the performance mat in the other gym
10:00 a.m. Drag my two crying daughters and ten other cheerleaders to the performance gym and run onto the mat
10:01 a.m. Convince all twelve girls to assemble in their formation instead of standing right next to each other
10:02 a.m. Start the music, do the routine in front of the mat, instantly freak out when the music stops playing halfway through
10:03 a.m. Coax all twelve girls to finish the routine even though the music has stopped
10:05 a.m. Head out to the commons to find Adam standing there, missing his Bar prep class, waiting for his ticket so he can watch his daughters perform (who had just performed)
10:06 a.m. Fight back tears for being a crappy wife while explaining to seven frustrated moms that I don't know what happened to the music
10:07 a.m. Assemble 12 Mini cheerleaders and escort them through a maze of screaming tweens, cranky and obsessive parents, and idiotic competition staff members
10:15 a.m. Realize my practice stereo won't work and take the Mini cheerleaders through their routine twice without music (no stunts hit, they couldn't remember their formations, and we didn't know which way we would face in the gym)
10:20 a.m. Run on the mat and direct traffic to get everyone in their proper places
10:21 a.m. Kneel down and flail frantically while trying to get the cheerleaders to catch up with their music
10:22 a.m. Music stops again; girls run around with no clue of what to do while I'm whisper-screaming "Keep going! Keep going!"
10:23 a.m. Fight back tears again
10:24 a.m. Leave the gym, move to commons to regroup
10:25 a.m. Face four more frustrated moms and secretly avoid one mom on purpose (what can I say...I'm a wimp!)
10:45 a.m. Move three carseats from the Suburban to our Honda, pack the double stroller, the gigantic diaper bag, the broken stereo, and a bag of 48 pom poms into the trunk while listening to three kids whining and crying
11:00 a.m. Head for home with an immense stress headache
11:37 a.m. Adam (who hasn't slept for 36 hours) falls asleep while driving and we narrowly escape a wreck
11:43 a.m. Walk through the door and contemplate faking a collapse from exhaustion a la Paris Hilton and/or Mariah Carey
2:40 p.m. Blog about it for some well-deserved therapy and closure

A Very Strange and Distrubing Dream

I fell asleep while lying down by Karli tonight. I don't know what conditions manifested in my subconscious to produce such a weird combination of ideas and occurrences, but the result was a truly disturbing dream that had me awake and nervous after only an hour of sleep. Hence, I sit at the computer for some blog-therapy since I don't want to risk having another dream like that, ever. It was way too creepy and involved me as a volunteer at a mental hospital where my patient slowly turned into a character who looked like Gollum on Lord of the Rings and became more weird and invasive every day. This thing, named Zoal, had problems that started showing up in my own kids and eventually, everyone with whom I associated at the hospital was suffering from Zoal's afflictions. Add to this the presence of several of my cheer students wearing sparkly, royal blue leotards and tutus and you'll know the level of my psychosis. Shudder.

Yes, I AM Getting Implants

Someday soon! If you are TMI-phobic, then read no more. I weaned Rex over the past month and can safely say that my upper body has finally settled into its postpartum shape (or shapeless, in this case). The metamorphasis must be done now because frankly, there is nothing else left to disappear. It is completely depressing and has me wondering if breastfeeding really is worth the sacrifice. I wasn't even this small in ninth grade! For consolation, I guess I'll just dream about being on the show Dr. 90210 (Dr. Li is my hero!). I can lead a rich fantasy life, right?

Clark Family Phrase-ology

Obviously, my kids say some pretty funny things. Lately the girls have employed some very entertaining phrases (not quite as entertaining as the expletive described in the previous post, but still...). Here are just a few:

Natalie: Karli, you need to come take a bath right now.
Karli: Mom, I do not have time for this stuff!

(Music playing, Amber and Natalie are dancing and Natalie lies down to rest...what an old fogie)
Amber: Mom, get up right now!
Natalie: Just let me rest for one second. I'm kind of dizzy.
Amber: But mom, we need to do a booty dance!

Karli (while watching the movie Aquamarine): I love it when Raymond takes off his shirt.

These Damn Kids

I know what you're thinking...and no, it isn't the case. This is not my statement. It is Amber's. That's right...adorable, sweet, three-year-old Amber. Today at her cheer class, the Drama Queen herself emerged from Amber's usually pleasant personality, and as the other students ran in front of her to head to the drinking fountain, she screamed out, "I AM SO SICK OF THESE DAMN KIDS!" I instantly started laughing for two reasons: 1. I'm sure I've said that about my own kids at some point and Amber remembered it, and 2. My mom had the most horrified look on her face. It was priceless and hilarious and totally embarassing. Looks like Adam and I had better watch our mouths.

So Close...DARN IT!

I am a huge nerd when it comes to radio contests (among other things, obviously); I'll listen to a radio station all day long for weeks to win something I want. I support my concert habit this way; I've won tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish, 98 Degrees, and Enrique Iglesias through my dorky dedication to radio. In this case, I wanted to win Rascal Flatts tickets from KBUL 93. They're having a contest where they play a clip of a Rascal Flatts song backwards. The 13th caller gets a crack at guessing the song to win tickets.

This morning while driving home from work, I heard the clip and figured it was "While You Loved Me." I tried calling but didn't make the cut and forgot all about it. Then, around two o'clock this afternoon, I heard the prompt to call and dialed away. After six busy signals, I got through and was caller 13! I couldn't believe my luck. I get all giddy and nervous and excited about things like this, so my heart was pounding and I was desperately trying to ignore the three screaming tykes in the back seat so I could focus. The DJ played three different clips of the song, which didn't sound like "While You Loved Me", but I was so nervous that I just blurted out that title.

He said, "Is that your final answer?" so I said, "YES!" and he said......"Oh. No. I'm so sorry!" As soon as I agreed that the title offered was my final answer, I realized the song was "Mayberry". I hurriedly said, "Wait! Is it 'Mayberry'?" to which the DJ responded, "I'm not allowed to tell you, but that's an excellent guess!" BLAST! It was "Mayberry" and I missed my chance to go to the concert because I was starstruck and suffering from Mom-Related-Inability-To-Concentrate Syndrome. At least I won a free RF c.d. as a consolation prize. Maybe next time.

Something Fun to Try

My friend Liz made this into a tag on her blog; if you're interested, try it...it's pretty fun! Go to Google Images and type in your name. Then, post a few of the pictures. Here are a few of the other Natalie Clarks on the web:

Back to the Old Song and Dance

Just when I thought our nights of having random leftovers from the fridge and freezer for dinner because Adam was at a night class were over, suddenly we're reliving them thanks to the 4-hour-a-night Bar prep course he's taking at the U of U. It's pretty sad that just because my picky husband is gone, I make my kids suffer through dinner after dinner of freezer-burned miscellany in hopes of digging out the ice-encrusted contents to one day find the actual shelves. One of my major personality traits (flaws?) is that I hate to waste anything, so even if it's barely palatable, I'll fix it for the three of us girls. Tonight, we had a gourmet selection of pizza pockets, chicken and edamame stir fry with ginger sauce and several unidentifiable veggies, tomato soup with saltine crackers, and cold cereal (my meal of choice). I guess on the bright side, Adam will think his usual, in-class dinner of Pepsi and a Snickers bar is haute cuisine. I can't wait for the Bar exam to be over!

1989 Called...

...and they want their chandelier back. By all means, they are welcome to have it. Leslie recently found a killer deal on two new chandeliers for the entry and the dining room, and thank the heavens! The only complaint I could ever have about this truly gorgeous house were the ridiculous, too-small-Wendover-casino-imitation-luxury-brass-plated-white-trash-fabulous fixtures installed in its two grandest spaces. Seriously, whoever picked out the original lighting should be crucified at the hands of any remotely knowledgeable HGTV viewer. So, for your viewing pleasure, I proudly offer the before...

Oh, the horror! Make it go away!

...and the after. Much, much better. Fantastic, even!

I never believed the real estate gurus who swear that updating light fixtures adds mega value to a home until today. The new fixtures look amazing in real life (my feeble photography equipment and lack of skill just don't do them justice) and I could sit and look at them all day.

All Hail the Victorious Utes!

January 2, 2009 will go down in the Clark Annals of History as the best day of Utah football thus far. The Utah Utes beat Alabama in the Sugar Bowl! Do you understand how huge that is? Alabama was ranked #1 in the BCS for half of the season! All I can say is that the Utes rock, big time.

Kristi, Jake, Kinzie and Whitney came over to watch the game (what a great way to spend their second anniversary, huh?!) with our family and Greg and Leslie. We were all rooting for the Utes, but Adam, Jake and I seemed to be the most passionate fans of the bunch. Our team didn't disappoint; the first quarter was the most explosive I've seen and it was marvelous to see Barry Switzer eat his words.

This was a sweet play...just like the whole game! Playoff series and number one in the nation...here we come.

All of the kids had fun wearing Kinzie's Utes wig. Isn't red a marvelous color?

Bowling Is Our Favorite Sport

Lest you think Adam and I suddenly plunged into the twilight years of our lives or have suddenly become undeniably dorky, I mean bowl-game-watching. Yes, I am a couch potato when it comes to college football season, but I'm finding solace in my ability to stand and eat and, once in a while, jump excitedly off the couch with both of my fists clenched in reaction to a bad call or a really great play (my inner cheerleader is still alive and well) at any moment during any game. The past week has been full of great football, great food, and great fun at our house.

We cheered for Michigan State and were disappointed when they lost, but the game did make for a darling photo op. Just so you know...Adam didn't wear his MSU shirt because the game was on. He happened to wear it to bed the night before and was on his way to take a shower when I snapped this picture. Rex, on the other hand, planned his outfit carefully (read: mom is a nerd and made him wear it...go Spartans!).

Here's another darling (and planned) wardrobe-coordination moment. The Utah/Alabama Sugar Bowl was an event second in importance only to Christmas in the Clark household. We looked forward to this game for thirty-six days and are still savoring the sweet taste of victory!

Rexy and I snuggled up for some great football action. Too bad he was sick because I don't think he (or I...those sneezes and nose wipings never stop!) enjoyed the game as much as we would have otherwise.

The kids all looked darling decked out in their Utes apparel. Amber even had a red hair extension braided into her ponytail. We are red-blooded and proud of it. Go Utes!

I Swear That Kid Could Poop an Ornament

It's not just a line from "Bruce Almighty"...it really happened a few days ago. Rex is fully mobile now, so he has made his way across the floor of our house many a time, picking up and ingesting any sort of foreign object he finds along the way.

The other day, he had a stinky diaper, so I laid him down and began the oh-so-awful process of changing him. After I wiped off the offensive matter, I noticed a small, silver shard of what looked like tinsel still stuck to his (please pardon the graphic nature of the following statement, but it's imperative to the plot) rectal area. I grabbed a fresh wipe, fashioned a modified glove, and proceeded to grab the silver tinsel to remove it. To my horror, it was not just a shard. I pulled and pulled and pulled and the result was a streamer about 13 inches long! It came right out of his bum!

Can you believe it? I couldn't. How did he swallow that whole length of streamer without choking? It was a horrific and hilarious sight to behold. I think it's safe to say that Rex took the holiday celebrations a bit too far this year.