Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Intellectual Atrophy

I always thought mommy brain syndrome was a myth until I had kids. It seems like after each of my children was born, I had a period of about three months in which my brain could not handle even the simplest non-child-related process of information. The sad thing about this condition is that it seems to worsen sequentially. This must mean I'm in for a lifetime of staring blankly at adults who try to communicate with me, thinking of nothing but diapers, spaghetti-o's, and sippy cups, and absently responding with a confused "huh?" to everything said to me by anyone older than three.

Yesterday I tried my hand at some of Adam's advanced writing problems and I was stunned to know that I, a devoted grammarian and English major, couldn't even attempt three of the problems, let alone complete any of them correctly. I actually came down with a splitting headache after ten minutes of trying to simplify a sentence full of legalese.

Yet another manifestation of my degenerating mental capacity emerged today as I helped our neighbor make her prom dress: I had to sew in and remove the zipper three times before it looked remotely presentable. Despite reading the instructions four times and having sewn in close to 20 zippers in recent months, I could not figure out how to get the right sides of the zipper to lie on the right sides of the fabric.

Even writing this blog post has taxed my feeble cranium to its limit (I had to use spell-check and found several mistakes!); perhaps this severe and embarrassing mental degeneration is actually a blessing in disguise to help me not realize how absolutely crazy it is to have three kids under three years old. I am lolling along in a blissful daze, my numb brain allowing me to thoroughly enjoy my new baby and become more and more immune to my toddlers' recently implemented blood-curdling-scream reactions to every little irritation they face. For the sake of all you readers, my poor husband who must feel like he has four children to whom he speaks instead of three, and myself, I hope this case of mommy brain syndrome goes away soon!

4 comments:

Amy said...

Nat, it doesn't ever go away:) I can't tell you how many times a day I say "huh?" People can speak to me and I don't even seem to hear what they are saying. Good luck!

Melisa said...

huh?

Kidding!

I couldn't sew a zipper to save my life, so the fact that you got in on at all, in any condition, impresses me!

Deanne said...

As soon as I read the title of this post I knew I could relate. At least you're not alone!

Becky said...

You are too funny! I love how you write by the way. You know that with each child our attention span decreases by 10 percent. If your husband can't spit out what he has to say in 1 minute and with plenty of inflection and excitement, it will not reach your conscious self. If you're lucky, the sub-conscious part of your brain might grab onto the missed message for later examination, or you might just end up dreaming about it. Fathers should sit in on sharing time in primary to get ideas on how to communicate with mom and kids. Be sure to include message in the form of a song with actions.