Allison Goes to the Empty Sea

Today we took my sister, Allison, to the MTC. She was the cutest missionary there! All the guys were checking her out (yikes; focus, please!); she's gorgeous and exuberant and will make a fabulous missionary. It's been great to be able to spend the last few days with her and to feel her missionary spirit brimming. Amber and Karli were really excited to go to the "Empty Sea" and see where Adam spent time learning how to be a missionary. I'm excited for Allison and for the Danish; she'll help many people find happiness.

Amber said, "My daddy has a tag just like that one!" Sister Liljenquist is adorable, huh?


The shadow in this picture is horrid (sorry), but it's the only one I have of my kids and Sister Liljenquist. Good luck, Albums! We love you lots!

Relative Excitement

The kids have been enjoying their cousins' company more than ever now that they are a bit older and better at sharing things. My sister's family came up for Allison's farewell and Amber, Merrick, McKay, and Karli had fun playing with my cousins, Hunter and Bella (is it strange that I have cousins who are younger than my own kids? I must be a Mormon!). Every night, the kids are wiped out and ready for a good rest. I'm thrilled because Amber and Karli have slept in their own beds every night but one!

Amber, McKay, Hunter, and Merrick reading a story on the stairs.

McKay and Karli being sweet. They are only two days apart.

Karli loves to cruise around the basketball court on the Barbie four-wheeler. I thought she'd be too scared to ride on it, but she loves to drive it all by herself.

Rex loved to sit in Cooper's excer-saucer and got a big kick out of spinning around.

Karli, Amber, Kinzi, and Gracie had a sleepover on Sunday night. It was adorable to see them all snuggled up together.

A Yard Free From Disgusting Debris

To me, playing in the "yard" in Lansing seemed akin to playing in a prison yard; the sparse lawn was dry and brown, the spaces between the sorry little blades of grass were actually filled with an assortment of razor blades, plenty of cigarette butts and bottle caps, and shards of broken liquor bottles, and we had spectators galore (the really creepy kind). We love playing in our yard in Alpine, where the grass is lush and green, the swings are free from any questionable substances that may or may not be infested with diseases, the air is cool and crisp, and we have a spectacular view! Karli would sit in this swing 24/7. She loves it!

Amber and Gracie are great pals and have had a riot playing together.

Rex loves his cousins, Mckinzie and Whitney. The two babies are pudgy little pals and love to stare at each other all the time.

I love the dry air here! My hair is slightly less-humongous and everything smells fresh here (except, of course, Utah Lake, but that goes without saying!).

Here's the view from the deck behind our house. The photo just doesn't do it justice. I love to look out the windows and see mountains in every direction. Next on our list is to go up the canyon for a campfire.

A Nice, Long Trip

We are finally in Utah. YAY! We actually arrived Saturday night around 11:30 p.m., and I'm so glad to be here. All in all, it was a good trip, but very long. Here are a few shots of our fantastic voyage:
Amber loved the plane! As soon as we started taxiing to the runway, she yelled out, "Here we GO!" Then, as we accelerated to take off, she screamed, "MOM! THIS IS SO FUN!" She loved to look out the window and see the "map" beneath us (that would be the outline of fields, rivers, trees, etc.). She couldn't get enough.

After a 30-minute tantrum in the car while leaving Lansing, Karli finally settled down and was pretty mellow the whole trip. She had fun sucking on her finger, snuggling with her soft blankie, and eating treats for every meal.

In case you've never been to the Long Beach Airport, this is it. Yep, this is the WHOLE airport. It's a touch bigger than a church gym, and we got to spend ten hours here. We ran out of things to see after about 45 minutes, but thank heavens for portable DVD players. By the time we left, I think every airport employee knew us by name.

After we made three hundred laps around the pint-sized airport, I had to break out the blue Ring Pops to entertain the girls. They loved having blue tongues and teeth.

Rex was an angel as usual and chilled in the stroller for most of the time. He slept through each leg of our flight and was a great little traveler.

I knew it was going to be an interesting day when I boarded the plane in Chicago and the pilot immediately offered me a complimentary cocktail. Luckily I didn't need it; the kids were very well-behaved and didn't even have any potty accidents. After 40 hours without sleep (packing...fun), and a very turbulent ride to Salt Lake complete with five vomiters on the plane (all sitting within three seats of me; I nearly lost it, too), I was so thrilled to land in Salt Lake and to see the marvelous mountains. I don't think I'll ever fly standby with three kids again!

Word of the Day

Amber and Karli always try unsuccessfully to convince me to let them watch Spongebob Squarepants on T.V. I can't even begin to describe my dislike for that character and that show; maybe it's because the whole thing is just plain annoying, but I would rather eat a plate of worms than watch an episode of Spongebob. One day at playgroup, I was talking to other moms and the subject came up. I said, "Spongebob is hideous!" and I guess Amber heard me.

Today, while lying on the bed, Amber said, "Mom, Spongebob is FRIDEOUS!" I said, "What does frideous mean?" So Amber explained, "It means Spongebob is freakin' out and hideous at the same time!" As an English nerd, I'm so proud of her for developing her own word, and I'm overjoyed that she finally realizes my point of view.

Obsessive and Progressively Strange

Since we've been on standby to leave for Utah for more than a month, I have continually put off buying specific products like hair dye (I have an appointment scheduled for the day after our arrival), wax for my eyebrows and other fuzzy facial areas (yuck, sorry), and most recently, conditioner, thus I have morphed into an unruly, gray-haired, ponytail-bound mess simply because I'd rather go without for a day or two or thirty than tote more stuff than is absolutely necessary around an airport. If this sounds crazy to you, don't worry, it is. I realize the madness of this, but also cannot bring myself to buy these products when I'll likely leave them behind to waste for the sake of a lighter suitcase. Zero hour is rapidly approaching, though, so come Saturday night, I'll be a brand new and much better-looking woman!
On a different note (but still regarding my increasingly strange behavior), I've always been a planner and love to write lists so I can cross off every item, but over the past few years I've become totally obsessive about it. While preparing for our cross-country trek, I find myself making lists for everything: items to clean, items to leave in Michigan, items to pack in the diaper bag, items to load onto my flash drive. I've made so many lists that my kitchen table is completely covered in papers.
Even worse, however, is my desire to have every single item on said lists organized perfectly into their respective receptacles. I can't stand having anyone help me pack because I won't know where every single thing is. Moms can understand this fear, but I think that anyone who has not had to supervise one or more children in a confined space with other passengers present would find this to be absolutely ridiculous. I plan the placement of objects in the diaper bag down to the centimeter, carefully layering items in use-order, making sure diapers and wipes are arranged for perfect one-handed removal, crumbly snacks are enclosed in a zippered pocket, and DVDs are arranged in alphabetical order so I don't have to sort through the whole binder to find Monsters, Inc. when Karli pipes up with an ear-piercing wail.
I hope all of my madness results from experience gleaned from three years of child-filled airline trips gone amok, and not from some new found mental disorder. I'm just trying my best to avoid carrying anything that isn't absolutely necessary and having a total meltdown by one or more kids, or even worse, myself. I never imagined I'd be so psychotic regarding planning (I'm all for spontaneity) and accumulating, but having kids has definitely made me reconsider my habits!

Fierce Enough to be a Star

Amber is in complete Princess mode these days, and her favorite apparel comes from the dress-up bin instead of her dresser drawers. Here she is modeling her Ariel/Aquamarine garb and showing off her newly-acquired strutting skills. Thank you, Project Runway.

Call Me Carlos

Long ago, Amber began calling Karli "Carlos". She made up the nickname all by herself and it made me laugh so hard when she, out of nowhere, said, "Hey, Carlos, get over here!" I thought this picture was fabulous because Karli has a cute little Mexi-stache made from caramel frosting. Now all she needs is a poncho and a sombrero.

Life's a Breeze When You're Not Picky

Rex loves to suck his thumb, but he'll settle for any of his fingers as long as he can put something in his mouth (thus he's been sleeping like log through the night for more than a month now, yay!). Here is a sample of the various comfort mechanisms he employs.

Shear Genius

I've become a huge fan of some competitive reality shows on Bravo lately: Top Design, Project Runway, and Shear Genius. While I watched an episode the other day, Amber ran into the bathroom and emerged with all of my hair styling tools. Then she said, "Mom, who is that girl with short blonde hair? I'm her." So I said, "Hi Nicole. Can you cut and style my hair for me?" Nicole/Amber said, "Sure, but I need you to hold the scissors." She handed me some invisible scissors and went to work on my atrocious style (or is it atrocious because I let these amateurs have at it every day? Hmm...). She was using all the lingo from the show and explaining the steps she took just like the stylists on T.V. did. Then Karli became the assistant and held up the mirror for me to see. She kept asking me, "You look pretty? See?" It is now an every day occurance and it's so cute (that would be the situation...obviously not my hair)!

Ready, Set, Roll!

Rex can now roll over all by himself. He did it first on Thursday and now loves to sleep on his tummy and make us worry about him all night. The best part is that he usually needs the leverage from having his thumb in his mouth to get all the way over. I can't believe he's growing up so quickly. It's fun but sad (what a mommy thing to say!).

Just Leave Me Alone

Karli is learning so many words and phrases at this point, and sometimes it's downright hilarious to hear such a sweet, adorable little voice say some of the things she does. Here's a perfect example; she sings "I Feel My Savior's Love" and then tells Amber to leave her alone.

I'm Leslie

Our friends Leslie and Derrick had their baby boy last week, and we took our kids over to see him last night. Upon returing, Karli immediately took out her five baby dolls and re-named them Oscar after the new baby. Then, she re-named herself Leslie and has been taking great care of her "babies" ever since. It's adorable! By the way, congraulations to the Larson family!

Slap Your Grandma

Here's a clip of Amber singing her favorite song, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk". She thinks the title is "Slap Your Grandma." It's pretty cute to hear her sing jibberish when the words say "Keepin' perfect rhythm, makes you wanna swing along."

Intriguing Tragedy

I am so fascinated by the Caylee Anthony case; it's all I watch on T.V. and can't get enough of Greta's analysis (Amber now recognizes her and was disappointed when Greta took the night off last week). I guess I just can't comprehend how a mother could appear so empty and nonchalant when her darling daughter has been missing for two months. Adam says it's the perfect defense because it's easy to prove insanity when there's no emotional reaction or excited statements. I'm dying to see how this case plays out and hope law enforcement gets to the bottom of it very soon.

No More Law School!

Adam's last day of law school was Friday. As soon as he came home from turning in his final paper, he hit the hay for some well-deserved rest. I'm so proud of him for making this grand accomplishment and for setting a goal and attaining it no matter the cost. He has sacrificed more than I can document for me and our kids, and we all think he's the greatest dad, husband, friend, student, and pugilistic-near-attorney ever! :) Congratulations, Adam. We love you!

Urban Cavalry

If you read my post last week, you know how I feel about these Rascally devils who cruise around town on their state-supplied motor scooters. While outside with the girls this morning, I saw five different riders eek by on their pimped-out chairs (I think I saw hydraulics and a bass cannon on one..he he), and I felt good to know that one of the largest ladies was miffed because my girls dirtied up the sidewalk where she had to drive. Giddyup!

FYI: The guy in the green shirt is not an offender in my eyes; he's actually disabled.

It's Official: We're White Trash

The minute Amber woke up this morning, she said, "Mom, I have the BEST idea. We can get Rex's tub and fill it with water and take it outside and dump it in the dirt and put on our swimming suits and play in the big........huge........MUD PUDDLE!" Despite my ever-increasing desire to avoid messes at all costs, I could tell that the wheels in her little brain had been turning all night to work out every detail, so I couldn't say no.

The girls loved rolling around like piglets in the mud puddle we created between the sidewalk and the seven or eight feeble blades of grass that are left of our front lawn, and to make this vision of low-class living even more authentic, I was still in my pajamas. We were quite the hee-haw spectacle, but the girls had a grand time and I even got a little bit of a sunburn line on my horrifically white feet.

Welcome to the Family!

This is my adorable new niece, Olivia, born to Jennifer and Jimmy on July 21st. Isn't she sweet? This is one of my favorite photos. Her older brothers are already protective and love to put their feet on her soft hair (just like Amber and Karli do to Rex...maybe they're related). I can't wait to meet her!

Today is a Wonderful Day

Today has been a great day! It actually started last night, when Adam and I got to watch a "grown-up movie" and then went to bed at the same time, with not a single child in the bed with us! I know, I know...it's a miracle, and it was only for a few hours (Amber does a spectacular 3 a.m. jump from her bed to ours), but it was grand while it lasted. This morning, I woke up early, ate chocolate and oatmeal cookies for breakfast, fed the kids, cleaned the house, and only had to scrub up one potty-training mess (is it sad that this makes me happy?) which was conveniently right next to the toilet and immediately before bath time, so it wasn't too bad.
Our wonderful friends Deanne, Sophie, and Truman came over for some chatting, playtime, and lunch after which all three of my kids magically fell asleep at the same time. Obviously, I'm catching up on some neglected blogging and scrapbooking, rockin' out to some old school John Mayer, and since I already have dinner planned, I'm thoroughly enjoying this day. I can't decide if it's great or pathetic that these small things get me all jazzed up...it must mean I'm a stay-at-home mom, he he he. I joke about it more than I should, probably, but I definitely couldn't ask for a better occupation!

All-American Boy

Rex is already three months old! I can't believe how quickly time is passing (oh, I sound like an old lady, don't I?). He is now wearing larger clothes and fits into these two adorable outfits. My friend, Diana, gave Rex the darling camo ensemble and I found the tres-American, Ralph Lauren overalls at T.J. Maxx for a great deal (good 'ol Ralph...my favorite designer of all time!). Rex's hair is decidedly blonde and his huge blue eyes (and his enormous smile that inevitably disappears as soon as the camera's flash fires) make him the quintessential American baby. He's a joy and we love having him in our family!

Olympic Aspirations

On August 8th, the opening day of the Olympics, Amber and Karli watched an episode of "Dora the Explorer" about teamwork in which all the team members won gold medals. Amber asked if she could have a necklace like Dora's, so I busted out the family-reunion-Olympics inspiration and made them each a gold medal out of some jar lids and ribbons. I had no idea they'd be a hit, but the gals still love them.

I think they like the medals even more now since we've watched several Olympic events together. Amber, Karli, and I particularly enjoy women's gymnastics and diving, while men's swimming and the genetic freakshow/phenomenon that is Micahel Phelps seems to be the entire family's choice for entertainment. He's fun to watch! I can't believe how easy he makes swimming look. I'll be thrilled if any of my kids make it to the Olympics, but I secretly hope they keep colligiate athletics as their ultimate goal!

It Makes Father Happy

After three years of living in ghetto-ville, both Amber and Karli have learned some not-so-choice phrases from the neighbors (okay...fine...some come from me and Adam, but not many!). Despite the rule I established for all children who enter my house that prohibits using the Lord's name in vain, Amber inevitably began saying "Oh my $#@" one day and naturally, Karli chimed right in as well. As I calmly tried to explain when it's appropriate to use the word God, I mentioned that it's Heavenly Father's name and it makes him sad if we say it in a naughty way. Karli said, "Dat make Heee Faddah sad?" ("That makes Heavenly Father sad?") and I said, "Yes, but whe we sing 'I am a Child of God', it makes Him happy" because Amber was thoroughly confused as to why we could say it sometimes and not others. Now, Karli uses this logic to explain every situation, but has conveniently omitted "Heavenly" from the phrase. Amber had an "accident" today (it's actually called peeing all over the bathroom floor when the toilet is one inch away from her...arrrrgh!) and Karli said, "Dat make Faddah sad, Amby!" When Karli ate all of her food the other day, she said, "See! I eat all mine food and dat make Faddah so happy!" She even uses it to describe happy or sad movies, respectively, and completely random events like getting a letter in the mail or spilling something on one's clothes. It's pretty hilarious.

A Founcy Zucchini

My sister, Allison, used to work for a Brazilian imports company and snagged this itsy-bitsy adorable bikini for Amber last year. While it is now strictly bathtub wear, she sneaked into her room and put it on all by herself yesterday so I let her wear it around the house for a few hours. How could I resist when she told me she wanted to wear her "founcy zucchini"? By the way, that means fancy bikini. :)

An Angel in Scrubs

Last summer when we lived in Utah, I experienced my first migraine and thought I was having a stroke. Since our insurance generally doesn't cover out-of-state emergencies, I put off going to the ER as long as possible while I waited for the phone call from McLaren authorizing the visit. They never called back, so finally when I couldn't see out of my left eye, I packed up and headed to AF hospital. The doctor there, Dr. Shelton, took great care of me and even gave me a CT scan to make sure I didn't have any clots in my brain.
After returning to Michigan and filing paperwork for a year, I found out that my primary insurance would cover part of the bill, but there was a hefty chunk left that my secondary insurance would have to cover. Of course, Dr. Shelton doesn't do business with the secondary insurance company, so I was left to pay for the rest of the visit. May I take a tangent here for a moment? I totally believe in paying for what I use, self sufficiency, etc. I didn't want to go to the ER because I wasn't sure that the visit would be covered, but I honestly felt like I'd have two kids and a husband who would be mother/wife-less if I didn't go (it was a really bad migraine!). That said, I knew I needed to pay the bill but we absolutely didn't have enough money to cover it (or even a significant portion of it). I followed the secondary company's suggestion and filed a hardship claim, detailing that my husband is a law student and we were just barely scraping by, etc. Yesterday, I got a letter from Dr. Shelton:
"Dear Mrs. Clark,
I have read your letter concerning your financial situation and I understand more than you probably know what that situation is like. I too went to Michigan, Wayne State University Medical School, and I know what it is like to have a family and not much money. When I was in Detroit many friends and church members took us under their wings and gave us furniture, food, and other necessities without asking for anything in return. These people knew that I was not planning to stay in Michigan. All they asked was that if I ever had the chance to help another family out like they had helped me, then I was to extend to them the same gift that I had received. What this means to me is that I have asked my billing company to wipe out the debt you owe to me. In exchange, however, I ask of you the same thing...If you or your husband ever have a chance to assist another family in need, please give them that assistance. If you do then I will consider this bill paid in full."
Obviously, I was so touched that I broke into tears. I'm thankful for the charity, kindness, and understanding of this doctor and I hope that we will be able to help LOTS of families in need because we have been so blessed in our educational endeavors. To all of you who have helped us in so many ways, thank you. Your kindness and generosity are appreciated more than you'll ever know.

Adam...Karli...Any Similarities?

The other day, Amber found this photo of Adam in the tub when he was a toddler. I can't believe how much Karli looks like him. Karli even thought it was herself in the photo. What a bunch of cuties!

Walk, Schmalk

Just when I thought I couldn't be surprised by anything else that takes place in our apartment parking lot, I saw this. The sad thing about this incident is that it is not the only one of its kind; we have recently discovered a whole gang of Rascal-ridin' Georgetown dwellers who are perfectly capable of walking around (I see them strolling easily to and from their power chairs that they actually park in parking spaces), but elect to let the Great State of Michigan pay for everything they use, including transportation. In case CATA was thinking about adding a bus route from one end of our parking lot to the other, they can rest easy knowing Medicaid has already solved the problem! I can't believe my eyes. In fact, I find this slothful transport so stunning that I sneakily snapped this picture through the window while I was washing dishes so I could share it with all of you (I felt so scummy, like a tabloid paparazzo). On the other hand, though, maybe it is a great way to save gas money. I mean, really...pride and self-respect are so overrated!

Mia Michaels' Protege

I always make the girls watch "So You Think You Can Dance" with me in hopes of providing a little inspiration and it seems to be paying off in terms of drama and creativity. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present for your entertainment, Amber Clark's modern interpretation of "Beauty and the Beast" (she does the whole song, but I had to edit it so the clip would load).

Derrick Will Be So Proud

A few weeks ago, we had Derrick and Leslie over for dinner. Derrick taught the girls "Break the pickle...tickle, tickle!" and the "Me Chinese, me play joke..." hand game and rhyme. They laughed but didn't seem to think much of it. The other day, Karli came up to me and told me to "open the fridge". She had the whole routine down pat and it made me laugh so hard! She doesn't say the entire ending, but just says "pee pee in Coke!". I know, I know, I'm probably a bad mom to think something like that is funny, but her little voice is so darn cute that I just can't help but giggle.

By the way, does it seem like my kids are always nude? I take off their clothes before they eat so I don't have to do as much laundry...an example of laziness and exhibition...I guess I am a bad mom!

This Place Will Self Destruct

We lucked out when we moved to Lansing; thanks to Adam's valliant efforts, we moved into a brand new apartment that was cute, clean, spacious, and cheap in a convenient location. As our kids have grown up and exhibited their artistic skills in mixed media (read: jell-o, ink, spaghetti sauce, lotion, dirt, baby powder, nail polish, chocolate milk, peas, sunblock, red popsicles, and anti-bacterial hand gel), we've become increasingly worried that we won't receive any of our security deposit, because our lease says we'll be charged for "any damage incurred, regular wear and tear excepted". So just how much wear and tear is regular with two toddlers running around? As it turns out, we may have worried for nothing...

Last weekend while watching a movie, we heard a suspicious drip coming from the closet that houses the water heater and furnace. Upon opening the doors and being blasted with the dank smell of moldy drywall (wetwall in this case), we noticed the ceiling was soaked through and dripping onto the floor. That's right, we have another reason to love our upstairs neighbors: they keep their puppy in their utility closet and their pipes were "unattached". Along with wetness was moldiness, and of course, since it was Saturday night, no one was around to stop the drip. Finally, we tracked down the maintenance guy who brought over a 5-gallon bucket to catch the stray water and assured us the problem would be fixed first thing Monday morning.

Well, well, well...it's now been a week and not a single thing has been fixed (we've called to complain six times). The new maintenance man, Don, came over to inspect the situation and promptly tried to blame us ("Don't you use your exhaust fan? This is from the humidity in your house") and then explained that the drywall didn't need to be replaced, just "treated" with Clorox Clean-Up. Yeah, right, Don. I don't know the first thing about builiding, but I do know that you can't get mold out of drywall. Our bathroom ceiling (adjacent to the utility closet) is now being overtaken by mold and the plaster is turning yellow. The carpet outside said closet has been wet for several days and is developing it's own atrocious odor and interesting patterns of flora as well. The pilot light on our water heater keeps extinghuising, and I'm only one more cold shower away from having a complete breakdown. At least we won't have to worry about being charged for any damage done to the walls and carpet by our children. I'm glad we'll have an attorney in the family soon, because I smell a big, moldy lawsuit coming on if this problem doesn't go away tomorrow morning. Aaaaarrrrggggghhhh!

Greetings from Lansing

Yes, that's right, you are correct...we are still in Lansing. Here's an interesting twist of fate: we have buddy passes to fly to Utah on JetBlue Airlines, which means we have to fly standby and are always on the bottom of the list. Hence, we've been poised to head home for ten days now, living out of our suitcases while finding out right before we head to Chicago to board that the flights are all full. Yesterday, Adam was contacted by a dean at the school and offered a five-week internship with a firm in town that turns out to be an excellent opportunity to get some courtroom experience each week. There's no way in heck I'd want to be away from Adam for five weeks, so the kids and I are planning to stick around until August 12th.

Soooooo...I guess the girls can learn a few more bad words from the 'hood figgas outside, we can laugh a few more times at our ridiculous upstairs neighbor doing his daily walk of shame after he gets beaten up by his girlfriend, I can say goodbye to all of my friends again, and we can enjoy the adorable lightning bugs for a few more weeks! I always chuckle when I realize that Heavenly Father has a plan and there's not much we can do about it sometimes. This is a good reminder for me that I need to be more in tune with what He wants for our family. I am totally excited for Adam and the chance he has to put his skills to work in a unique environment and I am totally excited to be out of here for good. See you all real soon!

Los Idiomas de Juventud

I noticed last night that my girls have achieved the linguistic phenomenon described by Steven Pinker as "children spontaneously invent[ing] a consistent grammatical speech (a creole) even if they grow up among a mixed-culture population." For example, both girls have begun to use an "oye" sound instead of an "or" sound (to-moye-rrow, D-oye-ra, d-oye-r) and, to my utter disgust (sorry, all you Midwesterners!), saying "maaaaaahm" instead of "mom". Add to this the Ebonics that they've unavoidably picked up (a few days ago, Amber said, "What the hay-ell!?" just like the attitudinous multi-ethnic kids who lurk outside our door), and they are definitely in for it as far as accents and language go. Yikes!
I've also noticed my atrocious hybrid hick/blue collar (translated: Utah/Michigan) vernacular becoming increasingly grating to my own ears. Whatever will we do? A self-proclaimed linguist should never suffer from such cacaphony. I guess we'll just abide by another of Pinker's observations, that "rules like 'a preposition is not a proper word to end a sentence with' must be explicitly taught, therefore they are irrelevant to actual communication and should be ignored." Word.