C'est Bon!

Since I love any excuse to eat good food, I try to celebrate Mardi Gras to the extent that my religion and common sense allow. We thought it could be fun to celebrate Fat Tuesday with a big pot of pseudo-gumbo (try to get a Clark to eat okra!), a king cake, some beads and masks (handed out for free, without exposure of private parts...except for Amber with her strapless, mermaid-tail-for-gown...she would have earned lots of beads in New Orleans!), and an attempt at a parade. We had a great time.

Here are the best of the revelers in their fancy garb.

Rexy wasn't into the costumes, but we managed to

get one shot of him with Cooper's hat on.

Karli loved the beads and resorted to physical violence

to accumulate as many as possible.

Amber said she was "the spirit of Party Gras!"

Amber was the most excited about the celebration. Soon after hearing the phrase "Mardi Gras," she decided that "Party Gras" sounded much better. She sat in the kitchen singing, "Party Gras, Party Gras, Party Party Party Gras!" as loud as she could. She even organized a "Party Gras for the children downstairs" (her own words) so the "grownups could have their own Party Gras". It was darling! I think the holiday is aptly named as well; I probably gained 20 pounds from eating all the yummy food.

I'm Lovin' It

I love this weather! Today the temperature topped off around 60 degrees, I took a quick run through one of the coolest neighborhoods in Alpine without having to push a 100-pound stroller (thanks Rachel and mom!), I could smell the fabulously crisp mountain air all day, and the sun has shined for three days straight. I'm ready for winter to be over, and I'm proud to say that all of the snow on our deck and front yard is gone. Hooray! I love the energizing power of sunshine in February. It works wonders on my annual, post-Christmas, winter doldrums and now I'm even more excited to bust out my sexy red wedges I bought on clearance last summer. Yay for spring!

Global Attack Launched on Attractive Hairstyles by the Intermountain Hair Monster

I grew up in Idaho, land of rodeo queens and white trash deluxe, where the gals' hair was always jacked up higher than the most ostentatious cowboy's truck. That said, I have routinely deemed the infamous western-states-supported hair "bump" an atrocity. I mean, a little volume is good (just ask David Spade and Adam Sandler and their Gap Girls alter-egos), but even if I am inviting the cast of SNL to the party, can we please leave the Coneheads off the list? Honestly, how can anyone find this bump remotely attractive (for the record, I did NOT resize this photo. It remains in its original aspect ratio)?

"Oh my heck...I like, love Bumpits! My hair is getting

higher and my face is looking flatter!"

I rest my case.

Imagine my horror when, tonight, I saw an infomercial for Bumpits. That's right, folks. There is now a patented product designed to eliminate the hours of teasing, ratting, spraying, stuffing (don't laugh, my friends did it with toilet paper and pantyhose filled with batting), pulling, and pinching it takes to achieve this hideous hair phenomenon. I nearly wet my pants!

Since I think I may be one of five women within a 1,000 mile radius who doesn't support or sport the bump, please do not consider this post a personal attack on your style. Were I a bumper, I'd probably jump online and snatch up as many Bumpits as I could to spare my arm muscles the indefinite fatigue caused by the now outdated, aforementioned bumping method.

Happy bumping, everybody!

Hello Again, Awkward Moment

I'm going to take credit for naming "The Awkward Shopping Run-In Phenomenon" even though I know everyone has this happen to them each time they go grocery shopping. Last night, I took Amber and Karli to Smith's and I tried out my new membership to TheGroceryGame.com (it seems promising...I'll keep you posted). A married guy saw my list and asked me how I do the "whole coupon thing" so I told him I had just signed up and didn't really know what I was doing. I gave him the web address, wished him luck, and he thanked me as I walked on.

On the next aisle, there he was, standing right where I needed to go. I pushed my cart to the cake supplies and he overheard me ask Amber what kind of candles she liked for her birthday cake (yes, it's in a month, but I'm such a cake nerd that I like to plan waaaay in advance). He said, "Is someone having a birthday soon? Happy birthday!" We thanked him and moved on.

Then, when I turned the corner to get eggs, there he was again. Lest he seem like a stalker, I must explain that we obviously had the same grocery needs, because he wasn't following us, rather, it appeared that we were following him. I quickly walked past to grab some milk and then proceeded toward the butter. You guessed it: nice married man at twelve o'clock. To avoid another forced and, by this point, completely awkward conversation, I decided I'd go to Costco to buy butter.

So why is it that the laws of the universe dictate that two or more shoppers will inevitably have identical grocery missions at precisely the same time? Why is it so awkward to strike up a new conversation after the initial contact was well-rounded and provided adequate closure given the circumstances? I'll never know, so please share your ideas.

Why Don't Things Just Work Out?

Today has been a day where everything that could go wrong has, with the wonderful exception of our excursion to Chuck E. Cheese's to meet my dear friend Elaine and her three handsome sons (Amber and Miles are betrothed, remember?). Upon waking, I immediately fired up this not-so-trusty, old Clark desktop to print some coupons for the aforementioned outing. Adam turned off the computer last night (despite the continuous use of electricity, I'm willing to pay the price for convenient access to the Web), so I pushed the power button and went to the kitchen to fetch some breakfast. Of course, we were out of milk, because I couldn't go to the grocery store last night because my wonderful, thoughtful, helpful, and conscientious employer informed me three days after I was supposed to receive my February paycheck that they had "permanently switched" our pay day from the 15th to the 20th of each month. Yes, I love the company for which I work (can you sense the sarcasm?).

Fast forward thirty minutes, when I walk back into the office, and the computer still is not ready to go. Three programs that open at start-up are not responding (this is the joy of using someone else's computer...I can't delete the programs or change the settings) and it takes me another twelve minutes to get online. Once I make it to the Chuck E. Cheese website, the computer freezes. All the while, Amber has sharted in her panties and removed them, Rex has produced a major diaper explosion that is leaking onto my pajamas, and Karli managed to smear jam all over herself. Did I mention we all had to be clean and out the door in thirty minutes?

To make matters worse, I absolutely had to send a fax this morning. The fax machine was naturally not working, so I tried to fix the problem. After diagnosing that there was no dial tone, the fax machine instructed me to check the wall jack, which I would have happily done, were it not cloistered behind two massive wall units filled with files, books, kitsch, and office supplies that brought the total weight to at least half a ton. Finally I unplugged the phone, plugged in the fax machine, and was thrilled to have at least one task accomplished.

After the kids bathed and Amber cried for ten minutes because I wouldn't retrieve her clean Belle panties from an undisclosed location downstairs, I jumped in the shower, dressed, and had everyone ready to go at 9:00 a.m., right on schedule. I opened the door and was met with the screeching wail of the alarm which Adam set last night and told me about while I was semi-lucid (of course, I don't recall him saying anything about the alarm). I quickly ran upstairs to find the remote, turned off the alarm, tried to comfort three terrified and screaming children, and herded them all out to the car. I buckled them in and ran inside just to catch the phone call from the security company.

Since I was now late for work, I told them I was Leslie Clark to avoid any further delay. I said I was on my way to work, forgot the alarm was on, and opened the door. The technician said, "Great, I'm glad you're alright. What is your password, please?" Hmmm. I had no clue, so I said I couldn't remember it and that I didn't have time to go find it. I said, "I think it's Granada Hills" to which the technician said, "Okay, thank you." I hopped in the car and answered a call from Leslie, telling me the police were on the way to the house because I gave the security company the wrong password. Thank heavens I have such a great mother-in-law, because she ironed out all the problems and I was finally on my way to work.

Now that I'm all worn out from reliving my morning, I'll refrain from detailing the rest of the day's mishaps, but I will mention that Amber has yet again lost her blankie "for good" (famous last words...this time I'm serious and I'm not making any more!), she's still not asleep, and her room is a disaster because she "was just too busy in" her "room to take a nap". AAARRRGGH!

PSE Idiot

I am finally joining this century and have abandoned my old digital scrapbooking software. My wonderful, tech savvy husband bought me Photoshop Elements for Christmas and I've spent the last two months trying to figure it out. Generally, I can learn software without too much anguish thanks to online tutorials. Since my PC does not have wireless networking capabilities (time for a new one?), and since the home PC that is connected to the Internet is waaaay too incapable of running PSE, I found myself in quite a dilemma everytime I needed to acces PSE Help or find instructions on scrapbooking techniques. Slowly, though, I'm learning and I really love using Photoshop Elements. It's not as hard to learn as Photoshop and I can do many, more-amazing things than I could with my old software. Now all I have to do is catch up...I'm only behind by four months. I see a marathon scrapbooking session in my future; anyone want to babysit?

Mega-Massive Monster Meldown

Well, it happened. I should be glad that it took this long to occur, but I'm not. I'm talking about the ultra-fits that everyone else's kids throw right in the middle of a crowded store, and the darn parents don't take their screaming, slobbering child to the car immediately to spare humanity the gross annoyance of said fit. I AM THAT PARENT! I'm so ashamed!

Amber, Karli, Rex and I ventured to Kid 2 Kid (after my lucrative drawer de-clutter, I had lots of cute things to sell) which was swamped to the gills with parents and children. Since it is such a chore to even get all four of us out the door, I waged the war and decided to stick out our shopping trip despite the crowd. After convincing the workers to look at my stuff (I didn't know appointments are necessary), I hunkered down with a massive laundry basket to accommodate my ridiculous shopping habit of taking everything remotely interesting off the rack and carrying it around with me until the moment of truth arrives and I sort through all of the possibilities.

I found a bunch of darling things for all three kids, all new, and dirt cheap. Amber and Karli ran right over to the book section and removed every single tome from the shelves, spread them all over the floor, and made a gigantic mess of the entire west wall. Amber had it in her mind that she would procure a Belle dress on this trip despite several reminders from me and Adam that she would not be getting one (her birthday is in three weeks, after all). Upon realizing the Belle dresses remained unperused and that I was nearing the end of my procurement phase of shopping (meaning a graceful exit from the store was immanent), she whined, "Mom, can I pleeeeaaase get a Belle dress?" I said, "Before I even consider looking at them, you and Karli need to pick up the books."

She immediately started crying and screaming "I can't do it! You have to help me...right now!" complete with the foot stomps, attitude...the whole routine. I calmly said, "Honey, you can do it. Start with the biggest book and pick it up and put it on the shelf." Then it really got bad. Amber has a completely resonant, high-pitched, glass-shattering wail which she loosed at that very moment and I could actually see every person's arm hair stand straight on end. I carefully put my hands on her shoulders and explained to her that her behavior was unacceptable, she'd have to go to the car if she kept it up, and that there was absolutely no way she'd get anything if she didn't stop right then. Alas, my rational attempts were futile and I knew that a trip to the car was necessary. I was, however, guilt ridden because of the humongous pile of clothes I garnered without being able to re-rack and I was selfishly attached to my one moment of "free" shopping, so I quickly began returning items to their places and futilely shushing Amber all the while.

I stashed the items I planned to buy under a rack of clothes and gingerly marched the kids to the car (I'm almost certain I heard applause coming from the store...). I buckled them in, locked the doors, and returned to the store to complete my transaction (don't call Protective Services, the car was parked right in front of the store and I had full view of the kids the whole time). My face was flaming red, my body temperature was now at least ten degrees above normal, and my neck hurt from all the tension. I thought my problems were over, but I was soooo wrong!

Amber unbuckled her seat belt and proceeded to remove all of her clothing. She was still screaming and wailing, so everyone in the store could hear/see her. I already felt terrible for leaving my kids in the car unattended, but darn it, I was going to buy those clothes! Then, she climbed into the front seat and pressed the horn repeatedly. Keep in mind that the car was at most twenty feet from the cash register, and every single person in that store was staring at me and Amber. I asked the worker if they bought naughty kids to sell to other people and she said, "Well, I can't have kids, so sometimes I think I'd even take the naughty ones." She wasn't trying to be mean, but I felt even worse! The very moment the exchange was complete, I raced to the car, buckled an undie-clad Amber in her seat, threw her baby wolf in the trunk (ahhh...leverage), and raced out of the parking lot.

Poor Karli and Rex; they were so quiet and angelic during the whole episode. I had to blast the stereo during the whole ride home to drown out Amber's hellish wails and I think the others may have lost their hearing due to hyper-decibel-ism. I couldn't even function for the rest of the day because I was so exhausted. I've learned my lesson, though: no article of clothing is worth suffering through something like that. At the very hint of a future fit, I'm heading straight to the car and finding sanctuary.

A Shameful Admission

I can't believe I'm even saying this, for so many reasons, but tonight I got an adrenaline high from cleaning the house. I guess it's a sign that my life really is lacking excitement, but after doing dishes, sweeping (for the fourth time today) and mopping the kitchen, helping the girls clean their room, scrubbing the tub, folding a mountain of laundry, and removing ill-fitting clothing from my kids' drawers, I felt a huge surge of endorphins and thought, "Wow...I feel really great, and look at everything I've accomplished with kids around!" Then, I immediately blushed and thought, "I'm such a housewife...I need to work out/get out more if cleaning makes me feel this way." Oh well. I actually do like being a Mormon housewife, so I'll take a high any way I can get it!

A Rough Day

Amber has discovered the process of testing her boundaries, and it's testing my and Adam's boundaries as well (I'm actually proud...I think I've done an okay job dealing with her new found defiance). Today was the worst day thus far. As I tried desperately to sneak in a marathon dishwashing session to the delightful strains of "Little Einsteins" (usually a great entertainer of the children, but not today), Amber and Karli sneakily disappeared upstairs and left me and Annie to our own rendition of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. Adam made the discovery: an entire roll of toilet paper unwound and strategically wrapped around the inside of the toilet bowl in a striking rosette pattern, completely saturated, and on the verge of decomposition.

Of course, I had to reach in and fish out the soggy mass. Eeew. Adam sent the girls to bed and gave them explicit instructions to stay put or pay the price. That price would be the always useful "blankie-in-the-garbage" routine. After three ventures from her bed and three more warnings, Adam took Amber's blanket and threw it away. It was sad, too, because he kept pleading with her to not be disobedient because he didn't want to have to toss the blankie. Amber didn't quite get it, though, and she kept getting out of bed and losing everything she held dear. I garnered quite a pile of stuffed animals, her fuzzy robe, a cotton ball, a pom pom, and several other tactile items before she finally realized we were serious.

The last time she got out of bed (it was legitimate--a potty trip), I was fixing my hair. She sobbed, "Mom, I really, really, really miss my blankie!" to which I replied, "I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way, but Dad and I are serious when we tell you to stay in your bed when you get in trouble." She slowly wrapped both arms around my leg, laid her head against my hip, and sobbed, "I love you so much, mommy!"

My eyes immediately welled up and I tried super hard not to cave. It was so precious! I picked her up and told her I loved her so much, too, that she was still in trouble, and that we could snuggle after she took a nap. Four hours later, she woke up a new woman, and Adam confessed that he had not thrown away blankie, but was hiding it for several days until Amber proves she can be an obedient child. Hopefully I can remain strong throughout Amber's brilliant exercises in manipulation and darling expressions of love. I have a feeling this is only a mild incident of what we are in for for the next twenty years!

Pick Me! Pick Me!

Since I'm always looking for excitement and adventure, I applied for "The Greatest Job in the World". In case you haven't heard about this job, Tourism Queensland is offering a position of Island Caretaker. The selected employee will experience all the tourism events on and around Hamilton Island (on the Great Barrier Reef) and will keep a blog and video journal for six months. That's right, I applied to move to Australia. I hope I make the cut!

TQ will choose ten candidates, and an eleventh candidate is chosen as a wild-card applicant from the website. The video with the most popular votes wins the wild-card position. If you have time, I'd appreciate your vote on my video. You can vote here.

I'm trying desperately not to get my hopes up. After all, there are already nearly 10,000 applicants from all over the world. It would be great fun, though, so I'm willing to give it a shot. BTW, if I get the job, you are all more than welcome to come to Australia to visit me and the fish!

Cinderella, Aurora, Belle, and Drama Queen?

Amber and Karli have only seen "Snow White" one time; I watched it with them and was horrified by the morbid theme. Hence, the girls are much more familiar with the fairly happy, romantic tales of "Cinderella," "Sleeping Beauty," and "Beauty and the Beast." Today Karli found a Snow White sticker and said, "Look Mom! I found a Drama Queen sticker!" Now does everyone know what I call my two little princesses?

The First Word is a Good One

Rex learned his first word and it's adorable! Yesterday we were getting ready for another cheer competition. The girls, Rex, and I were upstairs while Adam ran down to get something. Rex crawled over to the railing and yelled out, "Daaaa!" Adam came over and said, "Did you say 'dad'?" and Rex jumped up and down and squealed with delight. He has asked for "Daaaa" several times this weekend and it's just darling!

Stranger than Fiction

Here's the ulitmate word verification: I'm sure you recall my post about implants a few days ago. Kacey left a comment and guess what the word verification was...boobpla. Can you believe it? Crazy. That's even better than the rearbear verification I wrote about a few weeks ago. I think the techie nerds at blogger.com are reading my blog and I'm flattered.

Give a Cheer for No More Scouts!

Hip hip hooray! Adam and I were released from scouts today, which means I'm only one more den meeting away from a major relief of stress. I kind of feel like a schmuck for complaining so much about my calling, but honestly, I tried my hardest and couldn't do a good job. First, the BSA requires two leaders at each meeting. Adam has a class every day right during our den meeting, so that was impossible to achieve. Second, we had a nightly meeting every week of the month which, without a car (ours is parked at the U outside the law school building from 4 until 10 each night), was quite a chore to attend. Third, we can't afford to pay babysitters and all of our family members are occupied on meeting nights. I think the bishop felt a major surge of pity when he saw me tromp into the church last week for pack meeting bundled in a coat, scarf, and gloves, pushing my snow-covered double stroller with Rex and Karli bundled in it and Amber tagging along, bundled up and crying because she slipped four times on the trek down the icy sidewalks. It took us five minutes to un-bundle everyone and we got to sit right behind the bishop so he could hear every single whine, request for drink/snack/potty break/blankie/movie/etc.

I am now pleased to be the bulletin coordinator for the ward. This will be a fantastic calling that I can do via email...the perfect way for a dorky blogger to contribute! I'm super excited because I get to to the bulletin boards at the church building, too. It will be a welcome change.

A Great Memory

Tonight while enjoying another early bedtime for everyone in the house but me (yay!), I was working on the computer and listening to some of my favorite music. "Your Song" by Elton John came on and it conjured up so many great memories of when Adam and I were newlyweds and we lived in St. George. We would drive to Vegas frequently to hang around, eat cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory, shop for lingerie, see the sights on the Strip, and get burgers at In-n-Out. It was great fun to be able to pick up on a whim and hit the town. My favorite part of our jaunts was watching the Bellagio fountains that were choreographed to "Your Song". Standing there in the dark, watching beautiful scenes, hearing great music, and being with my sweetie was fabulous!

Mortification and/or Comedy

I was lucky enough (or I guess some could consider me unfortunate, depending on the perspective) to have the video camera handy when the girls helped me organize the gingerbread boy and girl Christmas tree ornaments the other day. Please note that Adam and I take every possible measure to ensure complete privacy as we consort, but for this I don't even have words...

Summer in a Bottle

I'm talking about OPI's Koala Bear-y nail polish. It's fantastic! I was feeling a little blah due to the toxic valley air (thank you, inversion) and the usual January doldrums, but as soon as I brushed this vibrant formula onto my toenails and fingernails...voila! I felt at least ten pounds skinnier and ten degrees warmer. I highly recommend it because it's oh-so-hot. I think I need to go to Mexico to show it off. I would have posted pictures, but something is wrong with my computer (of course). Hopefully I'll be able to post some soon. Cha cha cha!

The Silver Lining

I don't know how this happened, but maybe some heavenly host knew I needed some good news after the crazy compeition day. Both of my teams finished in second place! What the...? I didn't think they'd place at all, and they actually improved in rank from the last competition. Hooray! Despite all the problems and annoyances at the event, I am so proud of my darling little students for working as hard as they do. They are all so sweet and adorable and it is very rewarding to see them progress. Flaaaaaaash All Stars! Yeah!

Serenity Now!

Frank Costanza says it best when he screams, "Serenity now!" in the middle of a stressful situation. I'm going to start doing this as well, since I clearly need a mechanism for coping with stress. This morning we had a cheerleading competition that turned out to be a disaster. Here's a recap:

6:30 a.m. Wake up, shower, burn CD of competition music
7:00 a.m. Put the kids in the tub, construct four messy buns, find four white socks, head downstairs
8:00 a.m. Attempt to get the kids to eat
8:10 a.m. Listen to CD four times to verify proper working order...check!
8:31 a.m. Don shoes and coats, grab gigantic diaper bag full of baby gear, cheerleading gear, children's entertainment items, food, etc.
8:45 a.m. Load three carseats into my mom's Suburban, hit the road
9:30 a.m. Arrive at competition, register, and enjoy one last moment of peace and quiet
9:55 a.m. Escort twelve two-to-four-year-olds through a maze of screaming tweens, cranky and obsessive parents, and idiotic competition staff members to the practice gym for warm-up
9:56 a.m. Answer Adam's call to tell him where to be to watch the competition while helping six Tiny Tot cheerleaders build a pyramid
9:58 a.m. Answer Adam's call to tell him to wait outside and I'll find him and give him his ticket
9:59 a.m. Get kicked off the practice mat before our turn is over because the competition is ahead of schedule and we're supposed to be on the performance mat in the other gym
10:00 a.m. Drag my two crying daughters and ten other cheerleaders to the performance gym and run onto the mat
10:01 a.m. Convince all twelve girls to assemble in their formation instead of standing right next to each other
10:02 a.m. Start the music, do the routine in front of the mat, instantly freak out when the music stops playing halfway through
10:03 a.m. Coax all twelve girls to finish the routine even though the music has stopped
10:05 a.m. Head out to the commons to find Adam standing there, missing his Bar prep class, waiting for his ticket so he can watch his daughters perform (who had just performed)
10:06 a.m. Fight back tears for being a crappy wife while explaining to seven frustrated moms that I don't know what happened to the music
10:07 a.m. Assemble 12 Mini cheerleaders and escort them through a maze of screaming tweens, cranky and obsessive parents, and idiotic competition staff members
10:15 a.m. Realize my practice stereo won't work and take the Mini cheerleaders through their routine twice without music (no stunts hit, they couldn't remember their formations, and we didn't know which way we would face in the gym)
10:20 a.m. Run on the mat and direct traffic to get everyone in their proper places
10:21 a.m. Kneel down and flail frantically while trying to get the cheerleaders to catch up with their music
10:22 a.m. Music stops again; girls run around with no clue of what to do while I'm whisper-screaming "Keep going! Keep going!"
10:23 a.m. Fight back tears again
10:24 a.m. Leave the gym, move to commons to regroup
10:25 a.m. Face four more frustrated moms and secretly avoid one mom on purpose (what can I say...I'm a wimp!)
10:45 a.m. Move three carseats from the Suburban to our Honda, pack the double stroller, the gigantic diaper bag, the broken stereo, and a bag of 48 pom poms into the trunk while listening to three kids whining and crying
11:00 a.m. Head for home with an immense stress headache
11:37 a.m. Adam (who hasn't slept for 36 hours) falls asleep while driving and we narrowly escape a wreck
11:43 a.m. Walk through the door and contemplate faking a collapse from exhaustion a la Paris Hilton and/or Mariah Carey
2:40 p.m. Blog about it for some well-deserved therapy and closure

A Very Strange and Distrubing Dream

I fell asleep while lying down by Karli tonight. I don't know what conditions manifested in my subconscious to produce such a weird combination of ideas and occurrences, but the result was a truly disturbing dream that had me awake and nervous after only an hour of sleep. Hence, I sit at the computer for some blog-therapy since I don't want to risk having another dream like that, ever. It was way too creepy and involved me as a volunteer at a mental hospital where my patient slowly turned into a character who looked like Gollum on Lord of the Rings and became more weird and invasive every day. This thing, named Zoal, had problems that started showing up in my own kids and eventually, everyone with whom I associated at the hospital was suffering from Zoal's afflictions. Add to this the presence of several of my cheer students wearing sparkly, royal blue leotards and tutus and you'll know the level of my psychosis. Shudder.

Yes, I AM Getting Implants

Someday soon! If you are TMI-phobic, then read no more. I weaned Rex over the past month and can safely say that my upper body has finally settled into its postpartum shape (or shapeless, in this case). The metamorphasis must be done now because frankly, there is nothing else left to disappear. It is completely depressing and has me wondering if breastfeeding really is worth the sacrifice. I wasn't even this small in ninth grade! For consolation, I guess I'll just dream about being on the show Dr. 90210 (Dr. Li is my hero!). I can lead a rich fantasy life, right?

Clark Family Phrase-ology

Obviously, my kids say some pretty funny things. Lately the girls have employed some very entertaining phrases (not quite as entertaining as the expletive described in the previous post, but still...). Here are just a few:

Natalie: Karli, you need to come take a bath right now.
Karli: Mom, I do not have time for this stuff!

(Music playing, Amber and Natalie are dancing and Natalie lies down to rest...what an old fogie)
Amber: Mom, get up right now!
Natalie: Just let me rest for one second. I'm kind of dizzy.
Amber: But mom, we need to do a booty dance!

Karli (while watching the movie Aquamarine): I love it when Raymond takes off his shirt.

These Damn Kids

I know what you're thinking...and no, it isn't the case. This is not my statement. It is Amber's. That's right...adorable, sweet, three-year-old Amber. Today at her cheer class, the Drama Queen herself emerged from Amber's usually pleasant personality, and as the other students ran in front of her to head to the drinking fountain, she screamed out, "I AM SO SICK OF THESE DAMN KIDS!" I instantly started laughing for two reasons: 1. I'm sure I've said that about my own kids at some point and Amber remembered it, and 2. My mom had the most horrified look on her face. It was priceless and hilarious and totally embarassing. Looks like Adam and I had better watch our mouths.

So Close...DARN IT!

I am a huge nerd when it comes to radio contests (among other things, obviously); I'll listen to a radio station all day long for weeks to win something I want. I support my concert habit this way; I've won tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish, 98 Degrees, and Enrique Iglesias through my dorky dedication to radio. In this case, I wanted to win Rascal Flatts tickets from KBUL 93. They're having a contest where they play a clip of a Rascal Flatts song backwards. The 13th caller gets a crack at guessing the song to win tickets.

This morning while driving home from work, I heard the clip and figured it was "While You Loved Me." I tried calling but didn't make the cut and forgot all about it. Then, around two o'clock this afternoon, I heard the prompt to call and dialed away. After six busy signals, I got through and was caller 13! I couldn't believe my luck. I get all giddy and nervous and excited about things like this, so my heart was pounding and I was desperately trying to ignore the three screaming tykes in the back seat so I could focus. The DJ played three different clips of the song, which didn't sound like "While You Loved Me", but I was so nervous that I just blurted out that title.

He said, "Is that your final answer?" so I said, "YES!" and he said......"Oh. No. I'm so sorry!" As soon as I agreed that the title offered was my final answer, I realized the song was "Mayberry". I hurriedly said, "Wait! Is it 'Mayberry'?" to which the DJ responded, "I'm not allowed to tell you, but that's an excellent guess!" BLAST! It was "Mayberry" and I missed my chance to go to the concert because I was starstruck and suffering from Mom-Related-Inability-To-Concentrate Syndrome. At least I won a free RF c.d. as a consolation prize. Maybe next time.

Something Fun to Try

My friend Liz made this into a tag on her blog; if you're interested, try it...it's pretty fun! Go to Google Images and type in your name. Then, post a few of the pictures. Here are a few of the other Natalie Clarks on the web:

Back to the Old Song and Dance

Just when I thought our nights of having random leftovers from the fridge and freezer for dinner because Adam was at a night class were over, suddenly we're reliving them thanks to the 4-hour-a-night Bar prep course he's taking at the U of U. It's pretty sad that just because my picky husband is gone, I make my kids suffer through dinner after dinner of freezer-burned miscellany in hopes of digging out the ice-encrusted contents to one day find the actual shelves. One of my major personality traits (flaws?) is that I hate to waste anything, so even if it's barely palatable, I'll fix it for the three of us girls. Tonight, we had a gourmet selection of pizza pockets, chicken and edamame stir fry with ginger sauce and several unidentifiable veggies, tomato soup with saltine crackers, and cold cereal (my meal of choice). I guess on the bright side, Adam will think his usual, in-class dinner of Pepsi and a Snickers bar is haute cuisine. I can't wait for the Bar exam to be over!

1989 Called...

...and they want their chandelier back. By all means, they are welcome to have it. Leslie recently found a killer deal on two new chandeliers for the entry and the dining room, and thank the heavens! The only complaint I could ever have about this truly gorgeous house were the ridiculous, too-small-Wendover-casino-imitation-luxury-brass-plated-white-trash-fabulous fixtures installed in its two grandest spaces. Seriously, whoever picked out the original lighting should be crucified at the hands of any remotely knowledgeable HGTV viewer. So, for your viewing pleasure, I proudly offer the before...

Oh, the horror! Make it go away!

...and the after. Much, much better. Fantastic, even!

I never believed the real estate gurus who swear that updating light fixtures adds mega value to a home until today. The new fixtures look amazing in real life (my feeble photography equipment and lack of skill just don't do them justice) and I could sit and look at them all day.

All Hail the Victorious Utes!

January 2, 2009 will go down in the Clark Annals of History as the best day of Utah football thus far. The Utah Utes beat Alabama in the Sugar Bowl! Do you understand how huge that is? Alabama was ranked #1 in the BCS for half of the season! All I can say is that the Utes rock, big time.

Kristi, Jake, Kinzie and Whitney came over to watch the game (what a great way to spend their second anniversary, huh?!) with our family and Greg and Leslie. We were all rooting for the Utes, but Adam, Jake and I seemed to be the most passionate fans of the bunch. Our team didn't disappoint; the first quarter was the most explosive I've seen and it was marvelous to see Barry Switzer eat his words.

This was a sweet play...just like the whole game! Playoff series and number one in the nation...here we come.

All of the kids had fun wearing Kinzie's Utes wig. Isn't red a marvelous color?

Bowling Is Our Favorite Sport

Lest you think Adam and I suddenly plunged into the twilight years of our lives or have suddenly become undeniably dorky, I mean bowl-game-watching. Yes, I am a couch potato when it comes to college football season, but I'm finding solace in my ability to stand and eat and, once in a while, jump excitedly off the couch with both of my fists clenched in reaction to a bad call or a really great play (my inner cheerleader is still alive and well) at any moment during any game. The past week has been full of great football, great food, and great fun at our house.

We cheered for Michigan State and were disappointed when they lost, but the game did make for a darling photo op. Just so you know...Adam didn't wear his MSU shirt because the game was on. He happened to wear it to bed the night before and was on his way to take a shower when I snapped this picture. Rex, on the other hand, planned his outfit carefully (read: mom is a nerd and made him wear it...go Spartans!).

Here's another darling (and planned) wardrobe-coordination moment. The Utah/Alabama Sugar Bowl was an event second in importance only to Christmas in the Clark household. We looked forward to this game for thirty-six days and are still savoring the sweet taste of victory!

Rexy and I snuggled up for some great football action. Too bad he was sick because I don't think he (or I...those sneezes and nose wipings never stop!) enjoyed the game as much as we would have otherwise.

The kids all looked darling decked out in their Utes apparel. Amber even had a red hair extension braided into her ponytail. We are red-blooded and proud of it. Go Utes!

I Swear That Kid Could Poop an Ornament

It's not just a line from "Bruce Almighty"...it really happened a few days ago. Rex is fully mobile now, so he has made his way across the floor of our house many a time, picking up and ingesting any sort of foreign object he finds along the way.

The other day, he had a stinky diaper, so I laid him down and began the oh-so-awful process of changing him. After I wiped off the offensive matter, I noticed a small, silver shard of what looked like tinsel still stuck to his (please pardon the graphic nature of the following statement, but it's imperative to the plot) rectal area. I grabbed a fresh wipe, fashioned a modified glove, and proceeded to grab the silver tinsel to remove it. To my horror, it was not just a shard. I pulled and pulled and pulled and the result was a streamer about 13 inches long! It came right out of his bum!

Can you believe it? I couldn't. How did he swallow that whole length of streamer without choking? It was a horrific and hilarious sight to behold. I think it's safe to say that Rex took the holiday celebrations a bit too far this year.

Merry, Merry Hangovers

I had so much fun getting ready for Christmas this year because Amber and Karli were actually excited about Santa Claus, and they seem to understand the purpose for the holiday, which makes it even better. I got to shop for our kids this year (after three very lean years of law-student budgets, it was grand) and I made them some cute little pajama pants to accompany the darling turquoise robes and t-shirts my mom found for the girls. Rex discovered candy canes in his stocking and decided to help himself--they are his new favorite--and the girls have spent the day playing with their Snap n' Style dolls, Princess Polly Pockets, and doodle boards while gorging on oodles of yummy junk food.
My role as Mrs. Claus kept me up way past my bedtime many a night over the past month, which explains my zombie-like state of semi-lucidity today. That said, I'm off to bed early tonight to enjoy the feeling of having nothing else to do for a few moments. Whew. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Christmas 2008

We definitely had a very, merry Christmas this year. It was busy, but very fun to be with family. Leslie bought some cute costumes for the kids to wear as they acted out the Nativity story on Christmas Eve. Amber and Karli were angels, Gracie was Mary, and Kinzie (bless her heart) was Joseph, complete with robe, head dress, and beard. She was amazing! It was darling to see the kids act out their respective parts.

Doesn't Kinzie look thrilled? She was such a good sport.

Cooper and Rex were way too cool to be a part of any organized activity, so the girls made the show go on without the two boys. Gracie obviously wanted no part of the post-performance photo shoot.

On Christmas morning, Rex loved feasting on the contents of everyone's stocking, including lip gloss, oranges with peels, baby food, candy canes, crayons, and coloring books.

Here is Karli's nighttime ensemble. Isn't it darling? I was really happy with the way the pajama pants turned out. I didn't have a pattern, so I had to wing it. The purchased robes and cute shirts made the effort of sewing for a few hours worth it.

The girls spent hours playing with their princess Polly Pockets. I joined them for a bit and it was grand to play with dolls again. I guess I loved it more than playing dress up with my real little girls because the dolls don't protest. He he he.

I'm International, Baby

I'm thrilled and flattered: I now have an international blog reader (that I know of, I mean...he he he). My sister Allison is in Copenhagen on a mission, and she met a cool gal named Mette. I found Mette on Facebook and now we are virtual friends, for which I am grateful and very happy. Welcome to my madness, Mette!

Olfaction and Sophistication

Karli has recently discovered that she can smell things and it's very entertaining to wath her squint her eyes, wrinkle up her nose, take a big whiff of the odor du jour and implore, "What is that smell like?" She's learning that her ability to use the potty and leave the terrible odor in the bathroom where it belongs is actually a good thing (ahh...brilliant!), and that cookies baking in the oven is one of the most joyful fragrances on earth.

Today, she came downstairs dressed all by herself in her favorite pajamas, holding the magnificent night light pilfered from Crown Plaza hotel by a dear friend, and said, "Mom, I've changed the green light in my room several times." I said, "Oh, really? How many times did you change it?" "Several times." she said matter-of-factly. It was so cute.

Potty training seems to have been the magic event in Karli's life; she suddenly grew up when she told me she wasn't going to wear diapers any more. It's so nice to have one baby and two "big girls" who can play together, clean up after themselves (once in a while), and with whom I can have rather interesting conversations.

It's Definitely Innuendo

If you read my post a few weeks ago about the crazy word verifications I keep finding when I leave comments on my friends' blogs, here's the mother of them all (now I know the geeks are plotting and laughing their heads off). I just had to type this word when I commented on Tiffany's blog: rearbear. Nice.

The Hands of a Hard-Working Desert Dweller

Since they are truly a horrifying sight to behold, I've refrained from posting a picture of my poor, scaly, and utterly-cracked hands. I've always had trouble with dry skin (especially in these wonderful winter climates), but this year seems to be the worst ever. At this moment, I have 31 cuts/cracks on my hands, and despite my best efforts, they will not heal. I couldn't even buckle my kids in their car seats today because my skin hurt too badly. Yikes, huh?! Vaseline and socks at night doesn't fix the problem, nor does Amlactin or Eucerin. Does anyone have a solution to this woe? I'm desperate!

Adorable Futility

Read the previous post and you'll know why I needed twelve tiaras today. What you won't find out is how the original, "real" tiaras made of rhinestones that I ordered two weeks ago didn't even get shipped, so I pulled an all-nighter crafting these beauties from random hosehold items. The process took seven hours, and considering how nothing seemed to go right regarding uniforms for my two teams' competition today, genereated a grand amount of frustration and grumbling. I cut the marquis parts from foam core with an Exacto knife (yikes...my fingers are blistered), hot glued them to some ghetto headbands from the grocery store, added wire loops for bobby pins, wrapped the bands with silver ribbon, and dipped the marquis sections in glue and glitter. I was thoroughly proud of my finished product and put-out by the process (my ability to pull all-nighters left me shortly after I became pregnant with Amber), but once the gals had the tiaras on their heads, it was worth it. They looked so cute!

Moments before my team was to run onto the mat to compete, the competition "boss" came over and informed me that cheerleaders were not allowed to wear tiaras; we had two choices: take them off or receive a 5-point-per-judge penalty. So I frantically grabbed three moms and we ripped the tiaras off as fast as we could, making some of the cheerleaders cry...not because it hurt their heads, but because they wanted to be bling-ed out for the competition. I was really glad I went to all the trouble to make those darn things!

Cheery Little Princesses

Amber and Karli participated in their first cheer competition today and they did a great job! I coach their team, the Flash All Stars Tiny Tots, and their routine has a princess theme. I mixed the music with selections from "Drama Queen" by Lindsay Lohan, "Lip Gloss" by 'Lil Mama, and "Happy Working Song" from the Enchanted soundtrack. The uniforms are extra princess-y thanks to those adorable tutus under the skirts, plenty of rhinestones, and some cute tiaras. All twelve of my students looked absolutely darling and they got a standing ovation from the crowd (sympathy ovations are just as good as any, right?).

Since I was running around like a mad woman, trying to arrange everyone's tiara, pass out uniforms (gotta love the last-minute operation I get sucked into by my boss), keep Karli from throwing a fit, direct moms, apply lipstick to twelve little mouths, etc., I didn't actually have time to tape or photograph the routine in progress. The team suffered a bit of stage fright, and made some dazzling improvisations to the choreography, but all in all, they were so cute and tried their hardest and it was one of my proudest moments to date.

Here are the pretty princesses after the competition; Karli couldn't wait to have her hair taken out of those two messy buns. She hates having her hair fixed any way but "like Madeline's". They are also missing their tiaras...those really complete the look (even more than the pirate smiles seen here).
Karli seemed to be intimidated by all the commotion, but when she ran out on the floor to compete, she was a star! I was so thrilled that she did a great job (she's the youngest in her class and still gets a bit distracted once in a while).

Amber looked adorable with her cherry red lipstick, mascara, blush, and tiara on. She kept checking herself out and shaking her booty, and saying, "Oh! I look fancy!". It was darling! She and Karli both sang "Happy Working Song" at the top of their lungs during the routine at the competition. I'm telling you...these kids are talented. They sing and dance (Disney Channel, here they come), which is probably why they won third place. Not too shabby for a bunch of first-timers!

Grundy County, Here I Come

I've purchased a few items on eBay and must admit that each time I place the last-minute highest bid, I get a huge rush. Is that bad? I feel like I may be on the road to some serious shopping addiction problems, because not only do I get a major dose of satisfaction from buying a product, I get all jazzed about winning the bidding war. It's a compound problem. Do I need an intervention? I'll pass for now, thank you, and enjoy my cloistered love for competitive buying.

Since the item I purchased is a Christmas gift for a loved one, I'll post a picture of it and give details about the absolutely killer deal (75% off retail for a new-in-box item) I got on December 26th. I hope I can contain my excitement about said gift until Christmas. I think this episode is even more exciting to me than when I was a child awaiting Santa's arrival. I'm such a nerd!

Almost Three in a Row

The wondrous day has finally arrived...moms know what I'm talking about; the day your potty-training toddler suddenly decides diapers are for babies and wants nothing more to do with them. Karli has been in the potty-training process for about six months now, having on again/off again spells, but for the last two days, she's used the potty every time! Can I get a witness? I'm about to do a back flip!
Aside from one major poop-in-the-pants incident yesterday (which ultimately wasn't that bad because I just threw away the undies, the pants, the shirt, and the socks...it's true...I cannot handle bodily byproducts), I haven't had to change her for a full 56 hours. Now that she's grasped this newfound source of independence, her tantrums have nearly stopped, and she's using words to express needs instead of baby pterodactyl-style shrieks. Maybe I'll go join a robe-wearin', hallelujah-shoutin', Heaven-praisin' congregation so I can fully express my joy. This is certainly a glorious event!

One of Those Days

Can someone please remind me that it IS fun to have a never-ending, thankless job? :)

It's Not Creativity...It's Using My Resources

I've always been a wish-list maker and a major catalogue freak, and I'm proud to say that my girls are taking after their mama. Each week when the "all-new" Pottery Barn Kids catalogue arrives (that's our fave), we hunker down to carefully examine each page and decide what we'd buy if we had infinite income to support what could be very healthy shopping habits. We all fell in love with these stockings; Amber and Karli were especially excited to see the ice skate stocking (they actually think the sled stocking with the doll is an ice skate, so that's what we call it) and begged to have one for themselves.

Me, being the ultra-frugal, wanna-be Martha, decided to try making some because the PBK version ran a steep $33 each once monogramed. Here is my finished product; although I wish I would have sprung for felt-by-the-yard to make the actual bodies of the stockings, I'm proud to report that I made all five for only $10.78 and about three hours of work. I think I'm going to carefully remove the embellishments from these and add them to new felt stockings for next year because broadcloth just isn't sturdy enough, even with French seams inside. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself:

I still need to add the names. I'm working on cutting the letters out of felt because I'm too cheap to pay for professional personalization. Gotta love the rip-off!

Big-Time Pay Off

Today I had a wonderful moment where I felt like my efforts as a mom are paying off. Adam asked the girls to clean their room and left them alone. They actually cleaned it! I was so stunned when I walked upstairs, expecting to see a major disaster area, and instead saw a perfectly clean bedroom. The pillows and blankets were all on the beds, the toys were on the appropraite shelves in the closet, the dirty clothes were in the laundry basket, and the garbage was in the garbage can. It was grand! The best part about it was that the girls were completely proud of their magnificent accomplishment. Yay Amber and Karli!

Lamenting the End of an Era

I'll admit that while I generally view death as a beautiful part of Heavenly Father's plan, I am rather sad to see these wonderful disciples to whom I've listened during my entire life and grown to love pass on to the next station of existence. The last thirty years of Church history have been amazing, progressive, and interesting thanks to the efforts of these fine men and others like them. I definitely love President Monson and the wonderful new members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, but I want to pay tribute to President Hinckley and to Elder Wirthlin, two of my very favorite speakers.

I loved President Hinckley's sense of humor and his gentle ability to diffuse any uncomfortable situation. He was great with the media and delighted me during every speech with his wit and charm.

Elder Wirthlin...Mr. Football...a Ute...what more can I say? I absolutely loved his last conference address about living life, enjoying every moment, and having a sense of humor. What great men! I hope I'll be able to meet them in the next phase of life.

A-D-A-M Spells Amazing

You all know that my husband is a magnificent guy, but here's the latest proof:

This morning, I enjoyed a wonderful sleep-in and some snuggling with cute, little Rexy. I didn't expect to see Adam in bed as he is now nocturnal; 10:00 p.m. until 7:00 a.m. are prime studying hours around here and he's taking full advantage of the quiet time for Bar Exam preparations. When I finally gained full consciousness, I heard vacuuming downstairs. As I walked down the hall, I heard the dishwasher running and could smell the "clean smell" in our house. Adam had cleaned the whole house from top to bottom while I slept in. Isn't he the best? He did about three loads of dishes (gross, I know), put away all of the kids' stuff that was strewn everywhere, vacuumed, scrubbed the kitchen floor, the whole bit.

I love that man!

My List

My friend Elaine posted this on her blog and I like it. For posterity's sake, here are the things I've done (bold) and the things I still want to do:
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon (I'll go watch one)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (does XML count?)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted (when I was three years old)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (Mitt Romney during his presidential run)
92. Joined a book club (do Holt Ward playgroups count?)
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake (no thanks!)
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Totally copied a post from someone else's blog to your own (this one!)

My Poor, Neglected Blog

It must be December, because I find I have holiday events every single night of the month, mounds of laundry to be folded, piles of dishes to be washed, and I haven't even begun to decorate the house for Christmas. I haven't blogged for a week, and my stack of paperwork is growing exponentially. I have at least removed the Thanksgiving decor from the house, which is better than last holiday: I left Halloween items up until the middle of November.

I am definitely overwhelmed, but for some strange and truly uncharacteristic reason, I'm not worried about whether or not my house is decorated and I'm finding that I don't really care if I have the laundry done completely. My family may disagree, but I feel like we'll all be fine if we don't have three Christmas trees (we'll be lucky if we get one decorated this year), if we have to retrieve our clean clothes from the dryer, and if we have to dig our clean plates out of the dishwasher. Perhaps I'm becoming lazy, but I just can't be bothered by all of the manufactured hustle and bustle of this time of year and I kind of like it.

I DO have the Christmas shopping done, my kids get bathed (almost) every day and we're surviving. For once in my life, I'm doing the best I can and that's good enough for me. Maybe there's something wrong with my attitude, but until I discover what it is, it's nice to be at this point!

That's What I'm Talkin' 'Bout

Take a good look at my ever-disappearing waistline (I promise...I had a waist at one point in my life!), and you'll know that food plays a major role in my life. Not only do I love to eat it, but I love to prepare it, to see it, and to smell it. Thus, Thanksgiving is among my favorite holidays. This year was extra fun because it's the first time we've had Thanksgiving dinner as the Adam and Natalie Clark family. The girls are old enough to understand traditions and were so excited to "celebrate all day" (Amber said that over and over). They helped me cook all of our favorite foods and we had a magnificent feast.

This is cranberry sauce made the RIGHT way: fresh cranberries and a pinch of sugar. Amber was brave enough to try it and she liked it; I thought I'd be the only one. I can eat this stuff right out of the pan with a spoon. I love it!

Here's the whole spread minus gravy. The rolls are my mom's recipe, and the quintessential, Mormon-kitchen, Cool-Whip-topped Pyrex dish contains the famed "rainbow Jell-o". For those of you who haven't experienced it, it's twelve layers of Jell-o and yogurt that create a dazzling chromatic display. The kids can never get enough of it. I made a pumpkin pie for the first time this year, and the turkey was fabulous thanks to Leslie's wonderful bacon-and-gravy method. Honey butter, green beans, sweet potatoes, creamed corn casserole, mashed potatoes and stuffing completed the menu.

Rex had fun watching me cook for the first three hours, but then became annoyed and felt very neglected. Poor little guy!

Karli meticulously worked her pie dough until it crumbled and dissolved. She loves to use cookie cutters and has a bright future in cooking.

Amber insisted on using the "real" rolling pin instead of the cute, small rolling pins that the kids usually use. She thought all by herself to use Silpats for rolling mats. She's smarter than me!

The food all tasted great, I actually had a blast cooking nonstop from 9:00 a.m. until 3:30 p.m., we watched my favorite Thanksgiving T.V. broadcast: the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, and I even managed to wash the dishes as I cooked, so I only have four plates, four forks, and three pans to wash. Hooray!

Abundant Blessings

I know this may be cheesey because it is Thanksgiving, but I feel so blessed that I have to document it...it's a wonderful feeling! I have too many great blessings to count, but here are my top five:

1. I know Heavenly Father loves me and is watching over me. This knowledge helps me cope every day with stress, problems, and all the other junk that tends to bog me down. It makes me smile to think that I have a celestial cheerleader who is peeking down at me and saying, "You can do it!"

2. Adam. I have so much fun being married to him! I love being able to wake up next to my very best friend and to be able to build a little family and life with him. He's a marvelous man and he's oh so sexy! I'm a lucky woman indeed.

3. Amber, Karli, and Rex. I love having three adorable kids who make me laugh every single day and remind me to be nice. They are definitely teaching me to be patient and long suffering, and I love being able to be their mom.

4. Health. We are lucky to have bodies that work and are fairly low-maintenance. I'm glad for this!

5. Being able to "borrow" this gorgeous, humongous house. It is SO nice to have a dedicated laundry room, space for the kids to run around, enough bedrooms for everyone, a fabulous Rowenta iron, and the list goes on and on. It has been magnificent to live here after spending three years in our little apartment in the ghetto.

I am certainly thankful for our wonderful parents, my great friends, and all of my acquaintances who teach me valuable things each day. It has been nice to have a special day to be able to do nothing but cook and appreciate everything I have. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!