I Am Slowly Going Crazy

Sheesh. I always knew that parenting was hard, but I had no idea it was this kind of hard. I've had several things going on that seem to add to the overall mundane, annoying task of being cooped up in the house with four kids all day and most of the time I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. I hate admitting this, because I know it's a real blessing to have children. I adore them! I'm happy that I get to stay home with them to see and hear the cool things they learn. I'd never want it any other way. I wish I could program my kids, though, so that we had more harmony and less cacaphony!

Two weeks ago, I was helping my girls clean their HIDEOUSLY messy room. They had three years' worth of dress-ups, broken toys, shoes that don't fit, and piles of miscellany in their tiny closet, all over their floor, behind their beds--the place was truly a disaster. I suddenly started to get really hot. Then, I got really dizzy. The room was spinning, I couldn't breathe, I had a pounding headache, and I couldn't even walk to the kitchen for a drink. I had to crawl. I was having a panic attack! Who does that? After a useless trip to the doctor, the PA decided that since I didn't have traces of thyroid problems in my blood, I must have Labyrinthitis (a middle-ear viral infection). It causes dizziness which causes panic attacks and there's nothing to be done for it since it's a virus. Boo. So I've been having attacks and lots of vertigo for the past 16 days, and I have four more weeks before I'm out of the usual healing period. I can't function and it makes me feel even worse because I'm not accomplishing the things I usually do. Ugh.

My three older kids are always, and I mean ALWAYS at each other's throats. I can't stand it anymore! I think that they spend seven or eight collective hours in time out every day. All of my usual punishments or rewards are useless lately, and that is hard for me. Do any of you have good ideas to rememdy this? I'm at a total loss.

Amber is out of school for the summer, so she's bored because we have little-kid activities going on for the others. She cries about everything. I ask her to brush her hair, she cries. I ask her if she wants oatmeal or Mini Wheats for breakfast, she cries. I ask her to gather up her shoes from the family room, more tears. AARGH! I am really not looking forward to having her turn 12, when she has an extra dose of hormones on top of her already-emotional personality. I've tried every method of encouragement, reward, threat, and ignorance, but nothing seems to help. Add to this her bossiness and know-it-all personality and it really gets on my nerves. I love the girl and think she's amazing, talented, smart, and hilarious, but sometimes I just can't stand the attitude. Help!

Sorry to rant, but I want to document this stage because I've never heard my mom talk about the downs of being a stay-at-home mom. Everything is always loveley and beautiful and harmonious in her account (which, I know, was not, because I lived it). It feels good to vent. I know things will get better, and I'm looking forward to that day! Until then, you'll find me curled up on the floor of my closet, hugging a Diet Pepsi and clutching a handfull of low-strength Advil in my hand, desperately humming "Love at Home" to myself, and dreaming of the day that Adam and I can take a two-week vacation sans-children to Hawaii. He he.

Seperate and Not So Equal

Hi Friends. I haven't been blogging here lately because there's someplace else. I'm spending my time with something more rewarding (for now) than the everyday ho-hum of listening to four kids fight all. the. time. Ha ha. I started up a craft blog because I felt like this was becoming one, and I'm hoping to keep this as a family info blog so I can publish it and have it for posterity (just in case my great-great grandson decides that my daily goings on are important for some reason). So if you're interested in my crafting of late, check it out:

Clark and Lily: A Regular Gal's Crafty Endeavors

I'm still trying to get it looking nice, but since I can't run PSE on my laptop, it's still pretty feeble. I have a few recipes and tutorials, but mostly its just a place for me to show off my efforts. Maybe no one is looking, but that's okay because I feel like even a void in cyberspace offers some sort of valid audience for me. Eventually, I'd love to have pages of tutorials and recipes and stuff, so hopefully that day will come sooner than later. I'd love your feedback if anything pops into your brain while viewing the site.

Happy crafting and happy day, everyone!