An Advance Apology to Parents

Amber is getting really excited for the birth of our baby. All through my pregnancy, she has asked me how the baby gets out of my tummy, so I vaguely tell her that the doctor helps him come out. She seemed satisfied; end of story. We have been watching "Babies: Special Delivery" on the Discovery Channel lately because I thought it would be a good way for the girls to see (censored, of course) what happens at the hospital. We had watched several C-section births and a few vaginal births that didn't seem to be revealing in any way because the doctors always conveniently stood between the cameras and any exposed female parts.

For those of you who don't know this already, Amber believes she has a baby in her tummy, too. The other day, she was using the bathroom and taking her sweet time, so I told her to hurry up. She said "I can't push too hard because my baby will come out of my bottom." I asked, "What?" and she said "When the doctor helps my baby come out of my tummy, I have to push really hard like I'm doing poops." I was floored! I couldn't believe she figured out the process of vaginal delivery on her own.

If my daughter becomes the responsible party in any premature education of your children regarding the birthing process, I am so sorry! My only consolation in this situation is that she actually wants to be a doctor when she grows up. One can only hope...