Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Body Blues


Well, well, well...here I am lamenting just like every other woman on the planet about how hard it is to get back into shape after having a baby, and all the while, I'm blogging instead of exercising. What's worse? That it's 11:15 p.m. and I'm starving! I've tried all my tricks to avoid eating this late, but I don't know if I'll withstand the temptation. Nachos on yellow Santitas with cotija, tomato and avocado sound really, really great right now. I should just shut my mouth, both literally and figuratively, but I won't. I'm going to rant.


Is it bad that whenever I see my reflection, I don't recognize myself? I think so. I have to do a double take, and pause to see if I can even begin to suck in my stomach to make myself kind of look like I did pre-fourth-pregnancy. I feel like I have some kind of mental disease or something, like I imagine myself one way that is completely the opposite of how I really appear. It's discouraging, that's for sure. I know that losing baby weight just takes time and becomes harder with each gestational effort, but when I think back to my previous experiences to gauge my progress (or, in this case, regress), I just get depressed. Boo for being fat!


One thing that makes dealing with having another child harder for me (aside from the added workload, demand on my attention, etc.) is that when I get dressed every morning, I try on six or seven shirts and have to peel them off my abundant upper body because even my maternity pants (yes, I'm STILL wearing them) give me a bounteous muffin top under shirts that used to skim my midsection nicely. I only feel comfortable in my sweats, and I fear that the next step for me may be mom jeans. Oh, the horror! It's not that I want to wear them, you see, it's that it seems like my body has totally morphed. Let me explain: when I was in college, I was hefty (I weighed as much then as I did when I was 9 months pregnant with all of my kids), but I still had a cute shape. Broad shoulders, hips that were equally broad, a significantly smaller waist, etc. Now, though, I have bulk in all the wrong places and a decidedly different, not-cute shape.


I'm wondering now if there's even hope for me in the body department, since the fundamental structure of my payload seems to have shifted irreparably. I'm telling myself "give it time", but I really just don't have the patience. I want to be skinny again! NOW!

8 comments:

Becky said...

I was just complaining the other day how the body that housed twins 8 years ago is much different from the body that houses twins today. I feel like a balloon that has had its air let out too many times and now looks deformed when blown up again. In the end I think they're just going to have to pop me and sew me back up into a human again. Nip and tuck, nip and tuck, nip... I think we'll be alright as long as we never, ever, ever follow the tapered jean trend again.

Deanne said...

That's when I say it's time to shop for a new wardrobe. Don't think of it as your body not fitting right in your clothes. You're clothes just aren't right anymore! =) Buy some shirts/pants that fit and look great and you'll feel better, I promise!

Deanne said...

Oh, but one thing - don't pay attention to the size that you get. =)

Welch Mom said...

Hang in there! I remember grabbing my muffin top while taking a bath and just looking at all the flubber wondering were did this come from? And I just decided I have a "mom body" now. What can we do about it? I do not even think sit-ups will help the skin. I have tried and continue too. It seems like a losing battle we all must face. Just remember you are super cute no matter what and the muffin top can not take that away from you!

Kacey said...

Did you really just say you were "hefty" in college? That means I was too. . .and still am. At least now I have 4 kids to blame it on. I swear my dryer is slowly shrinking all of my clothes (I refuse to believe that I just don't have that same curvy body I used to.) I secretly hate all the moms I see around town with skinny jeans and bodies that actually look cute in their skinny jeans. So unfair!

Stephen and Kristen said...

Natalie, I see you once, sometimes twice a week. You always look beautiful, even in sweats. No one can make you feel pretty unless you believe it, but I'm telling you, you're pretty! Your baby is still a newborn and you have four kids ages 5 (right?) and under. You're managing a family, a household, a church calling, teaching, coaching, supporting your husband in his career efforts, and blogging...all at the same time. I'm sure I've left something out, but I hope you know that you're wonderful!

Jessica Schwendiman said...

Oh I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. I totally get it. I'm sure you look amazing but YES- even when I managed to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight with my last baby I still looked nothing like before. I didn't get it. I weighed the exact same but my body was just totally different. Oh well, Pax is 6 months old and I just stopped wearing my belly band!

Sean and Jeannette said...

Oh Natalie...I'm RIGHT there with you. My muffin top, big boobs and all! You have such strong determination, so I have no doubt that you will get back to your fabulous self sooner than you think. For the time being though, if you want a good laugh, google "jean sweats" supposedly, they are now making sweatpants that look like jeans. THE JOY!!! hahahaha!