The Body Blues

Well, well, well...here I am lamenting just like every other woman on the planet about how hard it is to get back into shape after having a baby, and all the while, I'm blogging instead of exercising. What's worse? That it's 11:15 p.m. and I'm starving! I've tried all my tricks to avoid eating this late, but I don't know if I'll withstand the temptation. Nachos on yellow Santitas with cotija, tomato and avocado sound really, really great right now. I should just shut my mouth, both literally and figuratively, but I won't. I'm going to rant.

Is it bad that whenever I see my reflection, I don't recognize myself? I think so. I have to do a double take, and pause to see if I can even begin to suck in my stomach to make myself kind of look like I did pre-fourth-pregnancy. I feel like I have some kind of mental disease or something, like I imagine myself one way that is completely the opposite of how I really appear. It's discouraging, that's for sure. I know that losing baby weight just takes time and becomes harder with each gestational effort, but when I think back to my previous experiences to gauge my progress (or, in this case, regress), I just get depressed. Boo for being fat!

One thing that makes dealing with having another child harder for me (aside from the added workload, demand on my attention, etc.) is that when I get dressed every morning, I try on six or seven shirts and have to peel them off my abundant upper body because even my maternity pants (yes, I'm STILL wearing them) give me a bounteous muffin top under shirts that used to skim my midsection nicely. I only feel comfortable in my sweats, and I fear that the next step for me may be mom jeans. Oh, the horror! It's not that I want to wear them, you see, it's that it seems like my body has totally morphed. Let me explain: when I was in college, I was hefty (I weighed as much then as I did when I was 9 months pregnant with all of my kids), but I still had a cute shape. Broad shoulders, hips that were equally broad, a significantly smaller waist, etc. Now, though, I have bulk in all the wrong places and a decidedly different, not-cute shape.

I'm wondering now if there's even hope for me in the body department, since the fundamental structure of my payload seems to have shifted irreparably. I'm telling myself "give it time", but I really just don't have the patience. I want to be skinny again! NOW!

They Must Be Geniuses

Today I ventured out of the house with three kids--the first time by myself since Case was born--and it was actually fun to be able to run some errands. I know, I can't believe I just said that either. The only thing that put a damper on our little outing: seven different people telling me the thing I'm soooo tired of hearing (as it's all I've heard for the past four years). "Wow, you've really got your hands full!"

Thank you, Captain Obvious. Do I honestly need a reminder every ten minutes? I KNOW I have my hands full. I have to try so hard to resist saying back, "Well, I have one more who is four years old and I'm strongly considering in vitro to conceive triplets this month." Every mom I know has her hands full at one point or another. I understand that these people are just trying to be nice, but come on. Does everyone have to say that to me all the time? Especially when I'm actually having what I consider a successful outing with children, meaning no one is crying, no one has pooped through their clothing, no one has a dirty face, and I'm not swearing under my breath or at the top of my lungs.

I can't wait to see what it's like when I have all four kids with me and we go anywhere. Sheesh!

Something to Melt My Heart

Lately, the girls have been saying something to Adam and to me that just makes me want to cry, partly because it's so darn adorable and partly because it makes me feel guilty for disciplining them when they're naughty. Upon committing an infraction and being punished, they say, sobbing, "but even though you're mad at me you still love me, right?" Can you believe that!?

Immediately, we hug them and say "Of course, we will always love you!" and it makes them feel better. But I always feel like such a schmuck! It's a good reminder to me not to fly off the handle and to remember that no matter how many times I have to confiscate nail polish or lip gloss or other contraband that they are just little and curious and adorable. I never knew parenting would require so much emotional fortitude. We love you for sure, Amber and Karli!

Boys....Blech!

I tried and tried to find the picture from "The Little Rascals" of the girls at the slumber party when they say, "Boys...blech!" and point down their throats like they're gagging, but this will have to do. You all know what I'm talking about, though, right? That's how I feel now that I have TWO stinky, dirty and adorable sons.

I don't recall any of my other babies going through as many diapers in a day as Case does. He is constantly tooting, pooping, and complaining about his soiled drawers. I can't even keep up with him, as he relieves himself mid-diaper-change, shortly after diaper changes, during feedings, during baths, you name it. It's crazy!

Rex has discovered his ability to remove his clothing and with that, all hopes of keeping his bodily byproducts safely contained in a diaper have gone out the window. On Thursday, he kindly sneaked into the front room (strictly off-limits to toddlers!), removed his pants and clean, dry diaper, and as Grandpa Clark tactfully told me, left "a deposit" on the floor. Much to my horror, though, it was not just one deposit. It was five. In little piles all around the room. On the IVORY carpet! I wanted to crawl into a hole and die, since it is not MY carpet that my son soiled, and because I was simultaneously trying to cook lunch, wrangle Amber and Karli, and hold a starving, screaming baby while trying to keep them all quiet so Grandpa could work. Sheesh.

Since the "use your Princess manners" command is clearly not going to work with these two, I'm asking for any kind of wisdom in dealing with boys who think it's down right hilarious to belch, toot, farmer blow and "deposit" for all to see. Eeew...I hope I survive.

An Idol in the Making

Adam, the kids, and I all love to watch American Idol, and last night during the show, Amber asked me the cutest question out of the blue:

"Hey Mom, when I make it to Hollywood, will you ride with me in the elevator so I won't be scared?"

I almost welled up with tears because I was so proud of her for even assuming she could try an audition and "make it to Hollywood" and because it was so darn adorable (and, of course, because my hormones are beyond out-of-control). Live your dreams, little Amber, and YES...I will always be there to ride with you in the elevator!

Blue Monday is Real?

Perhaps I've been living under a rock, but I didn't know that "Blue Monday" is actually an official day until an hour ago; I always thought it was just the name of a band. Well, since the third Monday in January is apparently the gloomiest day of the year, I want to share a few things I love right now:

1. When I'm next to Adam, I'm actually next to Adam. I no longer have a ginormous belly to separate us. It's fabulous.

2. Case is smiling! For the past few days, he's been giving us darling little smiles along with the one-eye-open awakening process. I love it.

3. Frozen raspberries. I discovered today that adding a huge handful of frozen raspberries to one small scoop of vanilla ice cream does wonders for my junk food cravings and makes me feel like I ate a whole bowl of frozen goodness without getting cheated.

4. Accomplishing something every day. Since this has recently become something of a miracle, I feel especially good when I get something...anything...done, even if it is only bathing the kids and grabbing a quick shower myself.

5. Karli is wearing her patch AND glasses without much of a fight. Lately, she's been rather obedient in this department and getting a patch stuck over her eye seems to be less traumatic now. YAY!

6. My cache of divinely-scented bath products left over from Christmas. I love yummy-smelling lotion and shower gel, and I'm reveling in luscious lather thanks to my cheer students, sisters, etc. who generously gifted me said items last month. I should have enough to make it to spring.

7. Rex's handshakes. Adam taught Rex how to shake hands a few days ago, and it is so darn cute to see how excited Rex gets when someone asks him for one. Who knows...perhaps he'll be the next Mitt Romney. He's a born politician!

8. 24 is on again. It was great to have a t.v. show start up to which I can look forward each week. Adam and I watch it together every Monday, and since "The Sopranos" ended its run on A&E, 24 is one of our trusty standbys. Yay for Jack Bauer!

9. My students are progressing nicely. As a teacher of several skills, I'm always thrilled when my students take significant steps toward improvement. It makes work a joy.

10. Blogging. I feel like I haven't been as immersed in the blogosphere as I usually am and now I love to have a small window of time to post something. I'm such a nerd.

Happy Blue Monday everyone. Take time to do something to make you happy on this wonderfully gloomy day.

Ready to Ride

I know this is really past due, but I made a cute carseat tent for Case out of cowboy flannel with bandana-print trim and just have to show it off. Karli helped me pick out the fabric and she also chose some antique brass buttons with an eagle motif; she has great taste. Giddyup!

Brotherly Love

Rex loves his little brother! He has been so sweet with Case, which is a huge relief to me. At the hospital right after Case's birth, Rex seemed so miffed that I was really worried to bring a tiny, helpless infant home to a monster of a big brother. I was wrong, however, because Adam notified me that night that Rex had been begging to go see "broder" all day. From then on, Rex has been a loving, snuggling, gentle, and adoring protector of Case and it's beyond darling.

Whenever we are upstairs and Case is in his crib, Rex disappears to go lie down next to him. I always find Rex (who looks HUGE compared to Case) snuggled up in the pack and play next to Case with his arms around him. Leslie told me Adam was the same way with his brother, Ryan. I think it's so cute! Rex always asks for Case as soon as he wakes up in the morning and from naps. Hooray! I think they'll be friends.

My two handsome sons.

The More the Merrier...Madness, I Mean

Wow! Life with four kids is out of control so far. Don't get me wrong...it's fun and great to have four cute, spunky, little ones, but I can tell it's going to take me even longer than ever to regain a sense of normalcy. I can't decide if I liked having a Christmas baby; I was so busy doing Christmas stuff that giving birth was kind of like one more thing on my list of to-do's, and I feel slightly bad about that like I offended the primal tradition of birthing or something. On the other hand, it was exciting and grand to have a baby during the Christmas season because lots of our family were here to experience it and help us out and such. Hmmm. It's a toss-up.
Now that we are back on our schedule (HA!), I mean as much as we can be with a two-week-old, I feel like I can start getting back into real life and figuring out how to add one more set of needs to the pot. Case has been a great baby thus far, and aside from two nights of crying due to reflux, sleeps well and keeps the noise to a minimum.
Karli is still wearing her patch, and after a doctor appointment today that turned out to be a major waste of time because we can't get her to wear a patch and her glasses, we are recommitted to being ultra-strict with her about wearing both. All the time. Yay. The doctor told Adam it was useless for her to wear the patch without the glasses, so basically the last three weeks of fighting her several times each day to don a patch have been a complete waste. Hopefully, though, she will get back into the bespectacled swing of things and won't give us too much more grief. Today's episodes were out of control and her fits were more than we could handle!
I will forever be astounded by the infant/laundry phenomenon. It seems the pile of dirty laundry grows from a hill to a mountain in a matter of minutes, and I now have a humongous heap of clean laundry spilling from my chair into two baskets and onto the floor, right next to the extra-large, overflowing hamper full of soiled goods. I can't believe how much dirty laundry a tiny human being can produce. Sheesh!
Here's a challenge for the next batch of medical students and/or researchers: please find a way for women to recover completely from pregnancy and the birthing process in one week. I'm fed up with the whole mess already, and it's really driving me crazy to have to deal with my insides rearranging again, trying unsuccessfully to get even my lower legs into my old jeans, and the rest of all the gory, horrid aftermath of childbearing along with taking care of an infant and the rest of my family. I'd pay big bucks to be rid of all of the aforementioned hassles!
For now, though, I'm trying to hold Case as much as I can and enjoy the "baby" smell, the tiny feet, the yawn/sigh combo, and everything else I love about newborns. I'm thankful to have four beautiful and healthy kids, and a wonderful husband who could rival any Mr. Mom at this point. So, yeah...bring on the insanity!

My Cute Little Kiddos

My friend, Mette, graciously took a few photos of my darling little ones so we could give them to Adam for Christmas. She is very talented and gets some great shots. Here they are!

Namesake

Case and Grandpa John E. Smith, for whom he is named. Since I forgot to mention them in the first post, here are the stats:

Case John Clark

8 pounds, 1 ounce

20 inches long

born at 2:40 p.m.

Grandpa Smith is a wonderful, generous, and wise man who has been a great support to Adam throughout his life and to both of us since our marriage. He's a surgeon, but also an electrical engineer who fought in World War 2. He is selfless and kind and has a great sense of humor. I'm glad we can honor Grandpa and know that Case will live up to the potential he has to be like his Great Grandpa Smith.

All The Single Ladies

...definitely need one of these:

Karli was so excited to see her "Beyonce leotard" on Christmas morning. I was flattered because she immediately doffed her jammies in favor of the sparkly uniform and wore it all day long. She even received some purple, sparkly high heels from Grandma and Grandpa, so her ensemble was complete.

I didn't think it would turn out to be so adorable on her, but it fit perfectly and I'm pleased by my first attempt at costuming.

A Wonderful Christmas

This Christmas was great and a bit different from the usual. Santa decided not to wrap the kids' gifts this year because he and Mrs. Claus were so worn out from taking care of the new little elf. Regardless, the kids loved all of their gifts and had a magical morning.

Rex was thrilled to get some "boy toys" like Army guys, a football, some trucks and a race track.

Karli was thrilled to see her Beyonce outfit (worthy of a post unto itself), her hula skirt, and all of her cute toys.

Amber's favorite gift was her new kitty, and a close second was her Fur Real Hamster.

I love to see how excited the kids get at Christmastime. Their reactions were worth the sleepless night before, and we were all thankful for awesome grandparents who added to the magic with their generous gifts as well. Merry Christmas, everyone!

He's Here!

We are thrilled to have our newest family member here safely. Case John Clark arrived right on schedule on December 22, 2009 at American Fork Hospital. Everything went well with the delivery and it was fabulous to feel my stomach collapse! He looks like a mix of Karli and Rex and has the Clark Scowl down perfectly. We all love him to pieces!

Here's Case right after birth. He came so quickly that he was nice and pink with a very round head.

Case wanted to suck his fingers from the very beginning...a sure sign he's a Clark baby. I love his tiny bum and his dark, wild hair.

Don't let that sweet, innocent face fool you. This kid has some pipes! I was worried that he was bound to be my ornery baby, because he cried all the time in the hospital. Once we brought him home, though, he calmed right down and has been a dream so far.

This delivery was definitely my craziest. Since I was positive with Group B Strep, I had to have 4 hours of antibiotics before I could deliver. My contraction monitor wasn't picking up any contraction, so when they finally broke my water, I didn't think anything was happening (aahhh...epidurals!). Ten minutes later, I felt a horrible pressure in my spine and thought for sure there was something wrong with my injection or that I was one of the .4% of people who have major complications with the epidural. Adam, Greg, Leslie, and the kids had all just headed downstairs for a treat and my phone was clear across the room, so I pressed my call button for the nurse. No one responded, so I started to panic as the pressure grew worse and worse. I was in tears, and finally yelled out, "Help!", hoping someone was in the hall.

Thankfully, a nurse poked her head in to ask if I was o.k. I immediately broke down into sobs, saying I didn't know what was happening to me. She calmly told me she would first check my cervix and then go from there. I was dilated to 4 centimeters when the doctor broke my water, and the nurse said, "You're complete and I see the baby's head." I couldn't believe how quickly the labor progressed, and five minutes later, I was holding little Case. It was madness! I had a wonderful staff of nurses who took fabulous care of Case and me and I'm thankful to have a beautiful, healthy baby. And, of course...to not be pregnant!

Such Girls

Grandma Shelley surprised Amber and Karli with early Christmas gifts: adorable dresses, new tights, and ruby slippers to wear to church on the Sunday before Christmas. Both of the girls were thrilled! They wouldn't take their dresses off all day, despite endless nagging by both Adam and me, and when we finally convinced Amber to change into a nightgown at bedtime, this is what we came across in the middle of the night.

Amber had removed both her and Karli's dresses from the closet and snuggled up by them in bed. Cuter still is that when Karli woke up, she actually had her red, sparkly dress shoes on her feet; she had been wearing them all night as she slept. They asked me all week long when it would be time to wear their new dresses to church, and today was the glorious day. They looked darling and were so excited. Thanks, Grandma Shelley, for giving my girls a reason to want to go to their classes!

Too Cute to Give Away

I set out making these purses for my girls to give as Christmas gifts, but once they were finished, I decided to keep them so I could give them to my girls for Christmas gifts. Isn't that terrible? I just think they are so sassy and cute that I can't bear to part with them.

They were SO easy to make (felt, glue gun, Heat n' Bond, ribbon, and embelishments) and it only took about an hour to make both.
I guess I'll just have to make two more, because the intended recipients would also love little purses like these. I'm really excited to see what my girls think of their new handbags; both of them are obsessed with purses and should be thrilled. We'll see!

Whoever You Are...Thank You Santa!

We had a knock on our front door the other night. When Adam opened it, he found a generous gift from "Santa". We don't know who Santa and his elves are, but we are very grateful. Thank you, Santa, for making this Christmas extra special for us!

I am excited for the day that Adam and I can do some large-scale "Santa-ing" of our own, you know, for families who need it. I've always loved being able to give secretly to others, and Christmas time is my favorite time to do it. I'm thankful that I have fantastic examples of charity, kindness, and generosity in my life, and also thankful that wonderful people are thinking of us. Merry Christmas, everyone!

If It Walks Like a Duck...

...it must be big, humongous Natalie waddling around the house. I have one week left until induction and I can't remember ever being this uncomfortable with my other pregnancies. I was running every day until I gave birth when I had Amber, and with Karli and Rex I could push the double stroller and walk four miles each morning. This baby has rendered me nearly useless, as I can barely walk from the kitchen to the front door without suffering. I guess my body is just worn out from being pregnant for 40 out of the past 60 months. Yay for no more pregnancies!

I am starting to get really excited to meet our new little boy. I am also super nervous to see how he changes the family dynamic. I hope that Rex will be nice to him and that my girls can be good helpers. I am gearing up to give lots of extra attention to the three older kids, but still I worry that it won't be enough or that we'll suddenly have a family of bed-wetting children or worse. Hopefully, things will work out well and everyone will adjust by having the expected and tolerable side-effects of adding a new one to the brood.

We're still debating on names; we have a few that we all like. Some of us like one name more than others, so I'm curious to see who the baby looks like and the kind of vibe he gives off. Call me crazy, but I just can't name a baby before I've met him or her. It never works out (Karli was going to be Kandice...but, no). I think we're all ready as far as laundry, sewing, organizing, etc. goes, so now I'm just waiting around to HAVE THIS BABY! Let's hope it's sooner rather than later.

Magic or Tragic? Either Way, It's a Trip to Disney World

Amber and Karli had their first cheer competition of the season on Saturday. They looked adorable and did a great job! Both of them competed in the Tiny division (age 5 and under) with their cousin Gracie. Amber also competed in the Mini division (under 8) and did a grand job considering she had two minutes to run off the mat after Tiny, change her uniform, and line up to go on with the older girls.

The Dazzles (Mini division) are the class that my brother-in-law taught in October. Their routine has a military theme and they were darling! They ended up in third place, which is downright respectable and impressive to me as their coach. They worked really hard and it was so fun for me to watch Amber in a "big girl" routine.

The Twinkles (Tiny division) were so darling, mostly because a few of them including Karli were off in their own world for a majority of the routine. There were a few girls who really rocked out, improvising and dancing their little hineys off for the judges. Eventually, most of them came together and did the routine like they were supposed to. I was really proud of them for being as composed as they were and for remembering most of the steps.

Once both of my teams competed, we raced out the door. As much as I love cheerleading, I just can't stand to be at one of those events for more than 20 minutes. It's loud, crowded, craziness that I simply can't tolerate. We didn't stick around for the awards, since (bad coach!) I didn't think my girls would place. They were great, but comparatively, I didn't think we had a chance.

You can imagine my surprise when Angela called to tell me the Twinkles took third place. I was thrilled and so excited to tell them what a great job they did. Little did I know, she actually said "first place" but I couldn't hear because she was still in the gym. I nearly wet my pants when I found out they earned a winning score. Additionally, they won a trophy that is the same size as some of them AND a bid to the national competition at Disney World in March (the weekend before Amber's birthday). Since most of the Twinkles have older sisters on teams that also qualified, we are trying to work it out for their team, too! I think it will be a blast and am really excited and proud of my little girls.

Sadly, I don't have any pictures because I was running around like a crazy person and answering all sorts of (I thought) dumb questions from parents, students, etc. and trying to get my teams where they needed to be. I'll round some up from my dad and Leslie and post them later. Rah rah rah! Gooooooo Flash!

A Visit with Santa and His Reindeer

Thanksgiving Point is one of my favorite places in Utah County, so I was thrilled to find out about their Christmas activities this year. I took the kids to visit Santa and see his reindeer, and I was surprised by their reactions.

All three of them loved the reindeer. There was a mommy and a baby reindeer who had more than enough food to eat, thanks to the handy quarter-dispenser and lots of eager children.

Rex was thrilled to see live animals...as usual. He couldn't take his eyes off of them.

Karli was really excited to meet Santa (that surprised me; usually she's more timid). She wore her glasses so she could show him what a good girl she's been. When asked what she wanted for Christmas, she immediately yelled out, "A CAR!". I don't know if she meant a car for her Polly Pockets or something like that, or a real, bona fide car like a...oh, it pains me to say this...mini van or something for our family (which we will need in a week!). She was fascinated by Santa and was very brave.

Amber took one look at St. Nick and immediately changed her mind. She wanted nothing to do with him! She told me in a very grown-up way, "I'm not interested anymore so I'll just wait here by the stroller". It was so funny to me to see the look of horror on her face when it was our turn to talk to Santa. She won't even talk to him on Leslie's iPhone. I thought for sure she'd be excited, but when I think about it now, she's never liked to sit on his lap, even in infancy. Let's hope she changes her mind about Santa once he brings her a few Christmas gifts.